Oh ye gentle querywarts who love to write Miss Snark about
Try not to sound witless in the query letter.
It's a bad bad thing when after one sentence I want
to wad up the paper, and your SASE (with a kitten stamp
no less) and grind it to the floor under my hobnailed boot.
(Miss Snark does not actually wear hobnailed boots,
but she keeps one on her desk for these emergencies.
Miss Snark wears bunny slippers to work).
Here is the latest example:
"Dear Miss Snark:
My name is Felix Buttonweazer."
This is NOT an AA meeting.
This is NOT a debutante ball.
This is NOT the red carpet leading to
You do not need to announce your presence.
I know who you are Felix...you (one prays to god)
have typed your name at the bottom of the letter.
A query letter of one page is about 250 words.
Why are you wasting them telling me something
I both can easily figure out and don't need to know?
That first sentence is important. Try not to waste it.
Now, if you need help with GREAT opening sentences,
go read Edna Buchanan. That lady knows how to
grab you good.