8.30.2005

Everyone is Above Average!

Wonders a Snarkolophagus:


I have question Miss Snark. How do the pages you've been getting here compare to the ones you see submitted at work? Are these pages pretty typical?


These are pretty good compared to what I get at Snark Central. For starters, no one has called me Mr. Snark. I get that a lot since my name isn't Boopsie I guess.

Few spelling errors, and no true and unredeemed crapola.

I do about 100 queries a week in the office. I got 77 here in a day. If you read each of these queries you'll see how much time it takes to do so. That's another reason I don't do critiques, it would cut into my blogging time. Not to mention stalking Mr. Clooney time.

Of course, all these are novels which are the easiest to read and decide. Nonfiction is MUCH harder and more time consuming. Most people here are writing novels I think.

8 comments:

Bernita said...

Thank you, Miss Snark. Again.

Anonymous said...

How do you know George won't start to resemble Rosemary as he ages?

Anonymous said...

The Snarkolophagus made me do it:

What do you call a rather snooty art critic?

--an aartsnaark

a writer in tennessee said...

Hey Miss Snark -- welcome back!

You've filled up these pages mighty fast with all the critiques.

I wanted to make sure you didn't miss the Ode I wrote for you! ;)

---
ODE TO MISS SNARK

‘Tis strange to note the measureless effect
A faceless agent from New York can wreak
As hapless writers, desperate and weak,
Attempt to craft a page she won’t reject.

What fire lies in her unforgiving gaze!
What mirthless grin must splay across her lips
While fingers type her acrid digs and quips –
And we, undaunted, seek one word of praise.

Yet somehow life is empty, bleak, and drear
When our beloved Snarky is not here.

Laura Lemm said...

Snarkolophagus...makes me think Snarkophagus, like something you'd find in a pyramid in Egypt.

Jess Madden said...

LOL -- ten bucks says you get a query letter addressed to 'Boopsie' within the next few weeks.

That would be mad funny. ;)

Miss Snark said...

If I get a letter addressed to Boopsie, I'll be sure to let y'all know.

And these odes...I'm a bit terrified to be inspiring odes. Is there jousting and professions of courtly love in my future? I'll have to buy Mr Snark a horse, and armor...not to mention a book of Keats poems to get him started. I think his idea of a Grecian Urn is that which holds olive oil.

Laraqua said...

Someone called you 'Mr Snark'? That's pretty awful but at the same time made me realise there's so many ways to go wrong. I mean, how do you ascertain a person's gender? I bet it sure as heck isn't on your website - "I am a lady/female/sheila agent who looks at mystery and yadda yadda yadda" doesn't seem quite your cup of tea. Writer's Digest wouldn't mention it. A phone call could find it out but what if someone's got an adrogynous voice and is it even okay to research an agent with a quick phone call?

So what does that leave? Word of mouth? Not much help for those of us who aren't up to our eyeballs in the industry.

Please, please, please respond. I can't think of anything more offensive and yet so potentially difficult to avoid than a gender misinterpretation.