8.31.2005

If you're thinking of asking Miss Snark to be your agent....

think again.

I'm amazed at the people who send me e-queries. They say they're fans of the blog (thanks..I think). Have they missed the posts on "what have you sold"??

NEVER query an agent you haven't done some research on. Not even Miss Snark, her fabulousity self. If you do, you get what you deserve and Miss Snark will not feel sorry for you one little bit.

So, for those who are new, or witless, or both, know this: Miss Snark doesn't read e-queries and Miss Snark isn't going to be your agent.

Her "real" self is listed in Writers Market and Publishers Marketplace and every other list under the sun. THOSE are the places you find an agent, not here.

Miss Snark is flattered but deeply disturbed.

1 comment:

Bernita said...

Fast forward a few weeks.
Miss Snark sits at her desk, sipping gin delicately through a syphon leading to a pail artfully concealed in a bottom drawer, while perusing a love note from her ex-lover, George Clooney.
She rolls her eyes. Really, the poor sod was quite broken up, but he had become so tediously demanding. She hoped she would not have to inform security, she thought, as she lays the bleeding, passionate note aside...
She eyes the pile of envelopes before her through her lorgnette. With a languid hand she reaches for the first on the pile. She curses quietly as an errant staple pierces her dainty fingers.
Miss Snark leaps to her feet, her flawless complexion flushed with rage. She wrenches a stiletto from one elegant foot and hacks at the offending pages before her.
A primal scream brings a quivering assistant to her door - in time to hear Miss Snark snarl, with a studied and deadly malevolence.
"I told them. I really did. But they don't listen. I hate this shit.I hated it the first time and I hate it NOW."
The end.