Is it Crap...Cover Letters, part 5
August 1, 2005
Miss Snark, the Literary Agent
Mayor Mike's Metropolis
Dear Miss Snark:
I am seeking representation for my 70,000 word "Alien Underworld" styled erotic futuristic fantasy entitled Beautiful Death.
Ok..what's Alien Underworld styled?
Is that what you're calling Miss Snark's new hairstyle?
She TOLD Mr Pigtail not to use the blow torch.
Back to the query: erotic and futuristic are NOT categories. Well, erotic is but unless you're writing an erotic novel you want to lead with what this is: fantasy.
Without hesitation or mercy, Isabella Thanatos, First Marshal of Athens, kills monsters spawned by a mutating virus introduced by aliens fifteen years ago. Contaminated by an experimental vaccination, she is now transforming into a monster herself. In her search for answers, she is hunted by the Pantheon and the darkest monsters of the Underworld alike.
This is fantasy. You better tell me what's wrong with monsters. Some of my dearest clients actually speak Klingon.
It must be late: I read that as "fire marshal".
Death belongs to Hades, and he scares her more than the monster growing inside her.
what? Does this follow from the paragraph above? Is Death a dog that belongs to Hades?
Is Isabella pregnant or is she channelling Ripley from Alien?
If you are interested, I will gladly send you a synopsis and partial selection of chapters. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you!
Enclosed please find: always send writing. Always.
Thank you for your consideration is enough.
I bet you're not going to like what I have to say so we can skip the obvious suck up.
We've seen a synopsis dump in previous queries. You've taken it all out. Moderation in all things of course. We need to see some of WHAT is going to happen and again..why I should give a damn.
Miss Snark appreciates brevity and loves a woman of few words, but you've got some room to manuever here.
More in this case would be better.