8.02.2005

Is it Crap..cover letters.. part huit..part soy.



Miss Snark, Literary Agent
Mayor Mike's Metropolis,
Bahamas

misssnark@earthlink.net


Why is Miss Snark's email here? You weren't planning to e-query her were you??
NOooooo you weren't. Why? Miss Snark doesn't like that.
More important for you, she doesn't read them.
Her website says so.
Follow the directions.


Dear Miss Snark,

Single mom Cassidy Richards never dreamed going home would open the door to her past -or answer the question that has haunted her for the last five years. Who the father of her son is.


yowza. There's a concept for Lifetime TV.
Who the father of her son is wins tonight's award for Clunkiest Sentence of the Day.
Consider: Who is the father of her son?




That's the premise for my recently completed manuscript KEEPING EMMAS SECRET an 80,000 word contemporary romance that follows a young woman who discovers that coming home can bring out a world of possibilities and the love of a lifetime.


Emma may have a secret but what she needs is an apostrophe. Keeping Emma's Secret.
Spelling mistakes make me very crabby.
I want to know why she left, and why she's coming back? DNA tests? Running from the law? Kidnapped by aliens and replaced by a pod person?

What someone does is much more interesting if the why of it is interesting too.



When Cassidy Richards returned to the family ranch, she never dreamed that the home she'd been left in her parents will would already be occupied - by her high school crush turned foreman, Matt Johnson. But when puppy love starts turning into the real thing, and the Texas nights start getting longer and hotter, Cassidy is torn between the man she has always wanted and a promise she gave her sister five years ago.


Miss Snark lives in New York City. She's jaded. She's hostile. She rides the subway in 90 degree weather. She finds someone in her house, she's gonna shoot first and ask questions later.

So far, I'm not reading anything interesting or compelling. It's like a police blotter recitation of facts. Why should we care about Cassidy? Who is this hooligan living in her house? Where's the sister?

And if I never see the word "puppy love" used again I'll be happy. It's almost as much a cliche as "longer and hotter".

You need to get some Texas salsa in this!!



Matt Johnson has lived the past six years with the knowledge that he slept with Cassidy Richards one night and when he opened his eyes the next morning, she was gone. And now he's convinced that a baby was conceived that night. But Cassidy's not done turning his world upside down. Now she's insisting that not only is Zach not her son, but that she never slept with him. The only other answer to that equation is not something Matt is willing to admit, especially when he realizes he's falling for Cassidy all over again.


"has lived"...argh.

Consider: Matt Johnson knows he slept with Cassidy Richards one night only to find her gone the next morning. Now he's convinced the baby is his. Cassidy says Zach isn't Matt's kid and whats more, he's not her's either. She not only never slept with Matt, she's not about to start now. Matt's not sure what he regrets more. Thinking he lost her or knowing he never had her.


But when the truth comes out, Matt finds himself caught in a position that could very well destroy the love he's been waiting a lifetime for.


too bad the fate of the free world doesn't rest on it.

Look...I've read this story one thousand times. Mostly in 8th grade when reading romance kept me busy between soccer practice and snark lessons. It's not good enough to be good enough. To get my attention you have to show me something MORE interesting.



I am, as of yet, unpublished in the Romance category but I have been an avid reader of romance for fifteen years and believe I have captured true romance in KEEPING EMMA'S SECRET. I have been published for such accomplishments as artwork and poetry, and also worked as a newspaper reporter.


leave all this filler out. If you write well enough I don't care if you've been dropped here from Mars. BUT you have to entice me with the story.



Enclosed please the first three chapters and a SASE. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Miss Snark now bops you on the head with a cluestick. Don't DO NOT send three chapters and an SASE UNLESS that's what the instructions say.

Send what they ask for: a cover letter and three-five pages is what "query letter" means. Query letter and first three chapters means just that.

this one comes right back to you with a "not right for us".
But...if Matt turns out to be gay and Zach is really the love child of Princess Diana and Donald Trump..well, then I'd perk right up.

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