Sayonara Snarklings! Back on 8/28

Suitcase packed!
Hatbox packed!
Reticule contents: sunglasses, fold up gin pail, passport, emergency chocolate rations, George Clooney's cell phone number and a wallet stuffed with freshly laundered credit cards.

Telephone number for hotel, local bootlegger, and cabana boy reservations noted on passport.

Palmpilot, cellphone deactivated and stored!

Book bag packed; contents thereof:
1. Spy's Fate, Arnalod Correa (Akashic Books)
2. Envy the Rain, Jamie Boud, (The Known Universe)
3. Wrong Side of the Wall, Eric Stone, (Lyons Press)
4. Lunar Park, Bret Easton Ellis, (Knopf)
5. Anthropology of an American Girl, HT Hamann, (Vernacular)

and Faithless by Karin Slaughter, (Bantam) for the travel time when you really need something totally escapist!

I'll be back at the end of August!
We'll do some more "is it crap" stuff when I return so work on those query letters and first pages!



Molly said...

Ciao, bebe!

What's sad is I know I will still check these pages during the next two weeks JUST IN CASE. :)

Christine said...

I say we all spend the next two weeks composing our own "Ode to Miss Snark."

Get started, Snarklings, two weeks is not a lot of time :)

If anybody really does this, please share.

Anonymous said...

Buh-bye, Miss Snark.

By the way, Anthropology of an American Girl is a really... pretty book. I wasn't compelled to finish it, but I sure felt rich holding it in my hands.

Be safe! Get tan! :-)

Michelle said...

Enjoy yourself! We'll miss you. :)

ScaramoucheX said...

Hey...she's really gone...wonder if she's 'verklemt'...wonder if we should talk amongst ourselves...anybody got a topic?

Anonymous said...

What about how much duller life is without her?

Or about how many of us can't stop checking by, just in case?

Anonymous said...

Have buttoned sneaked myself - just to see if any of you have added something. It may be blasphemous to our divine Miss Snark, but I have learned from your questions and comments as well.

ScaramoucheX said...

Snark is task-mistress and whip-cracker and bubble-burster...she grounds dreamers in the cold and austere world of business and numbers and deals and contracts, contaminating our dreams necessarily with painful reality...she manifests representation of our imaginative figurings so that others might understand them...truly, she is an agent of the matrix...and I love her (rotfl!)

A Writer in Tennessee said...

by J. B.

‘Tis strange to note the measureless effect
A faceless agent from New York can wreak
As hapless writers, desperate and weak,
Attempt to craft a page she won’t reject.

What fire lies in her unforgiving gaze!
What mirthless grin must splay across her lips
While fingers type her acrid digs and quips –
And we, undaunted, seek one word of praise.

Yet somehow life is empty, bleak, and drear
When our beloved Snarky is not here.

Bernita said...

WHY? Why? am I reminded of Jabberwocky when I read that poem?
My dears, I have a blog - thanks to Miss Snark's advice. My daughter set it up for me.Yesterday.Be kind, if you see it.
OK, off the top of my head, in the Anglo-Saxon style:
A Gnomic
Queen of the gold hoard
Gone from the guest hall
Mourned by her minions
Who murmur and fret.

Supercilious snarklings
Waiting and watching
Seek long-buried secrets
Like dragon-hoard gold.

Anonymous said...

Dear me, no. Jabberwocky is penned in iambic tetrameter. The above is a classic sonnet in iambic pentameter. ;o)

That was off the top of your head, Bernita? Very good!

Bernita said...

Thank you.
Now I feel all mean and um...snarky. I just put my slithy toves in my mouth.
Wasn't speaking of rhyme and meter, dear, but rather content...um..."and burbled as it came..." because of the "ancien" style, which you imitated deliberately, I have no doubt.

Anonymous said...

I prefer something a little more modern:

Misnark : why have you left (us)-
augustis cold! without
yer blistering remarks
So, please (tell) us,
So we can lureyoubacktous:

How you like your blue-eyed boy?

Bernita said...

Hmmm...that's three of us who have dared. Where are the rest of you lily-livered scribes? Not willing to lay an offering at the feet of the Lady? Huh? Huh?

Anonymous said...

august in new york
streets steamy irritation
another reject

you want to believe
the scam agents all know this
do your damn research

all queries need this:
first five manuscript pages.
or wait, maybe not?

still not right for us
another draft, another
polishing the bones

handwritten scribble
a real comment on the form

Anonymous said...

...also, for another agent's perspective, there's a nice post about queries here by Barry Goldblatt. Just in case anyone's in need of methadone.

And a triolet, because why not:

The authors all read Snark each day,
Rejoicing in her snarky ways
And question Snark in every way --
The authors all read Snark each day.
How much should a contract pay?
Should I trust what this scam agent says?
The authors all read Snark each day,
Rejoicing in her snarky ways.

Bernita said...

Ooooh, those are GOOD.
We will make Miss Snark laugh.
She may drop more pearls.
Belly up, Snarklings.

Anonymous said...

Nice poems all. I'd do one myself, but I'm working on my cover letter.

Is it just me, or did Miss Snark pull the cover letter entries from early August?

Bernita said...

I don't know...but you may be able to find those particular entries by googling Miss Snark. Her individual postings should show up.

Anonymous said...

The snark that went
Was not Old Hag,
Nor washed the steps
With pail and rag.
Instead she set our tongues awag

with talk of books and Clooneywood.
And too many commissions great and good
For us to doubt the likelihood.

Snark early and avoid the fate.
Or if predestined to snark late,
Make up your mind to snark in state.

Make the whole blogosphere your own!
If need be occupy a throne,
Where nobody can call you crone.

Some have snarked about what they knew;
Others on subjects simply not true.
What worked for them might work for you.

No memory of having scarred
will change her queenly disregard
of you, the snarkling. It's hard.

Better to go down dignified
With snarkling friendships at your side
Than none at all. Provide, provide!

Molly said...

To one of the Anonymous folks above -- I definitely think some entries were deleted because I can't find some I know I read.

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark;
(See--I'm being very, very polite to the nice lady.)

How much weight would a blurb from a dog pull? (Uh-oh. There she goes.)

Now, now--don't be like that. It's a very famous dog. The very famous dog of a very famous writer who, it is reputed (just repeating what I've heard; no personal beefs; still being polite), rarely answers his impossibly voluminous fan mail, but whose dog replied in a prompt and very complimentary manner to a letter written by my own pooch, and--here's the kicker--my pooch's letter was SECRETLY WRITTEN BY ME!

Unfortunately, the very famous dog did report that the nearly-as-famous writer wishes said dog would dig a big hole in the backyard in which to bury all agents. That might be prejudicial. However, you have to admit, the concept of a canine blurb is unique, and that might offset the nasty things reported about agents. After all, the dog was merely the messenger, and the lovely Miss Snark was not specifically mentioned.

Anyway, anxiously awaiting your response, I remain


(No kidding. Like I want any future query--mystery/suspense, 95,000 words, set in urban southern Ontario and the wilds of the Bruce Peninsula--to end up as a smoldering pile of ashes in the middle of your desk blotter as soon as you see the return address.)

Anonymous said...

They haven't been deleted. Click on August 2005 in Archives and you'll see all of August - not just the few days on this page.

Molly said...

To Anonymous above--

Checking the August archive was the first thing I did. I also doublechecked all of July just in case my memory was off. Some entries are simply not there any more.

Jenna Glatzer said...

Drat! This figures. I just found this blog today, got all wrapped up and excited, and I've stopped in just in time for Miss Snark's VACATION?!

Sigh. Story of my life.

Anonymous said...

No, no, you're one of the lucky ones! The rest of us have been waiting around for two weeks, writing poetry, while you get to wait only a day or so before her promised return. (For lo, it has been prophesied, etc....)

Christine said...

Hi Jenna!