Do NOT Query Miss Snark

I'm getting annoyed by this, Snarklings. Well, actually the people doing it are clearly NOT true Snarklings because they aren't reading the damn blog. They must see "literary agent" and their queryometer twitches and they hit send.

Stop it.
Here's why:

1. It's stupid. You known little or nothing about what I represent and NOTHING about what I've sold. You deserve what you get if you want an agent you're clueless about.

2. It forces me to choose between deleting your query with no response, or sending you an email so snarkly you'll probably never read the blog again. I'm going to start choosing the latter instead of the former soon.

3. (I had to take it out because it was vile and pornographic and required .pdf downloads).

4. I do not use this blog to troll for clients. I have enough clients right now to keep me busy for the next few minutes.

5. I don't even take e-queries at my agency let alone here.

So, get a grip, get a clue, get a stamp, cause the only way to query Miss Snark is the old fashioned way: find her in Writers Market and send her a letter.


Anonymous said...

Miss Snark, This question refers to the previous thread on how to know whether you're a hobbyist or not. I don't know if you read back that far.

Question: If I have an agent, when people ask me what I do am I allowed to say writer rather than whatever my day job happens to be?

Anonymous said...

You may have addressed this previously, but I did look back and didn't see anything on it. I'm curious, why do you not like e-queries? I'm not at the stage yet of sending them, but several of my writer friends only sent e-queries, and found their agents that way. Very good agents too, one of them sold a friend's book at auction just a few weeks after signing her. So, I'm just curious, are you concerned that you could be missing out on some great potential clients who may be doing their entire agent search online only? If someone researched you (and it's not terribly hard to figure out who you are. :) ) and that person sent you an e-query, would you look at it, or just delete it on principal?

Anonymous said...

sorry, but why are you asking her this foolish question again? Having an agent does not make you a "writer" if you are being asked what you do for a living. And why are you asking a iterary agent anyhow? believe me, you are a hobbyist, or you wouldn't even be asking this question!

Anonymous said...

I should add onto my previous note, that I was referring to an e-query to the 'real' you. Not an e-query to 'miss snark'.


Anonymous said...

Ouch! Not because of the snarklashing, as I may be one of the guilty parties (okay it wasn't that fun). That was deserved. My thoughts of the last week has been majorly jumbled, and heart hasn't been in much of anything. If I'm the guilty party, and most likely am, that wasn't a query, when I would hope for representation, I would use the traditional methods as well as friend's recommendations. Being guilty of borderline behavior, I do extend apologies and a my hand for a snarklashing. Truly, my mind has been elsewhere.

Molly said...

I am not one of the query-ers, nor shall I be, however, given the breadth of knowledge you have displayed here, the insightful opinions, I think that wanting to query you from your blog is not a foolish thing. Yes, I get it, the importance of knowing what have you sold, etc., but a query is not a contract, it is an exploration of a possible professional relationship.

You are impressive, the blog is impressive. While Publishers Marketplace and other traditional agent listings tell you one kind of information about an agent as a starting point for queries, the information one gleans about you and from you in this blog is also a good starting point.

I am not trying to get you to overturn your policy, but I do disagree that anyone who reads this blog and wants to query you based on just this blog is necessarily a moron.

Now, if they don't read the whole of your blog wherein you repeatedly state that you do not welcome queries from Snarklings, well then, yes, I'd Pollock them with the moron label.

Peter L. Winkler said...

" find her in Writers Market and send her a letter"

Your Writers Market entry mentions you run a blog as "Miss Snark?" If not, then maybe we can match email addresses? Probably not. Since you don't want email queries, I assume your WM entry either 1)has no email listed, or 2)it's not the same one as your profile here.

If not, how the hell do we know which one of a googleplex of female agents listed is you?

Molly said...

Peter --

You don't. :)

Miss Snark posts here anonymously -- despite the best efforts of a few readers trying to unmask her (ahich would probably spell the end of the blog).

Her references to Writers Market etc are just instructions to find the best fit agents via the traditional information sources. There is no information in her professional listings that unveil her as Miss Snark. If you query her, it's because you thought her professional listing was a fit -- not because you discovered her daytime alter ego.

Anonymous said...

Exactly, Peter and Molly. I don't consider sending an email with my links a query, that's why I didn't think I was stepping over the line. I have no idea, and really don't care to know, Miss Snark's alterego. Her superidentity is too valuable. The only dismaying thought is when I am ready to submit to an agent, I may end up sending to her and I've already left a bad taste in her mouth... I know, I'll send some of my best choco-chip choco-dip oatmeal cookies (JK).

I outed myself again, wanted Miss Snark to know she doesn't have to get Mr. Clooney to play bodyguard (unlessening, she wants him to) of get too weirded out. I step on my own toes all the time. It's a good thing my friends love me! =^D