Followup Follies

A Snarkling is preparing her follow up phone script and asks:

What are some of the most common mistakes writers make when asking for the status of their submission?

In no particular order:

1. Have you read it yet?
2. Why haven't you read it yet?
3. If you don't read it soon, I'm going to withdraw it and send it to someone else (the unstated premise here is: "someone else who appreciates me")

These are the ones that really irk me:

4. What the hell are you doing over there that you can't read a novel in 90 days?
5. If this is how you treat your clients I don't want to be one
6. I really need to know if you are going to take this on so I can get on with the next step.

For those of you who are regular readers of the blog you can probably figure out why Miss Snark would rather set herself adrift on the Hudson with no gin than take on any of these people.

For those of you unsure as to why these are ..shall we say..."counterproductive in your search for an agent", just drop me an email or a comment with the number in it and I'll post a full, complete, profanity fueled diatribe ..complete with flames.

As for now, Miss Snark is summoning Shyster Snark to the Penthouse for a confab: Miss Snark has been called for jury duty. She knew leading a blameless life was the wrong choice, and here it is...pigeons coming home to roost.


Kitty said...

I've heard several people say that they were dismissed from jury duty by claiming they listen to Rush Limbaugh.

Existential Man said...

I've heard several people say that they were dismissed from personhood and became vicariously addicted to painkillers by listening to Rush Limbaugh

doghousereilly said...

I've never heard anybody say they listen to Rush Limbaugh.

occasional_anonymous said...

Just ask them if you get extra remuneration for your astral adviser.