9.30.2005

How To Sound Like An Idiot

From the slush pile today:

"Your agency enjoys a well-earned reputation for excellence on both sides of the publishing industry. Authors and editors all respect your professionalism and any author that you represent has the privilege of sharing that respect. That is the reason I am submitting this query letter to you."

And that is the reason you are "not quite right for my list".

10 comments:

Desperate Writer said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Desperate Writer said...

Note to self: Kissinf agents' butts not effective. Resort to whining and begging while offering Clooney and Gin.

Desperate Writer said...

KISSING their butts doesn't work either.

Miss Snark said...

The trick is to kiss effectively. (gin helps of course)

"Authors and editors all respect you" is utter bullshit. I know about 97 authors a week who think I'm an idiot. Probably some editors too...and at least one former editor.

Elektra said...

A query I just sent out said this at the end (and what I say is 100% true). Is it going to get me branded a nitwit? "As a new writer, I was a bit nervous as to what to send with queries, and called your agency to ask. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to anyone more polite or genuinely helpful than the person who answers your calls. As soon as I hung up, I thought, “This is the person I’d like to work with.”

Dave Kuzminski said...

How to sound like an idiot? Easy, just try to respond with a well thought out answer, spot another comment outside the window you're typing in and switch to answering it without including all the pertinent information you intended to use on the first point.

So far, I've managed to do that on my very first post in this blog.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Elektra, what if the person that answered the phone was, like the cleaning lady or someone that the agent doesn't particularly like?

Miss Snark said...

Elektra, the difference is, you're responding to an actual experience you had with your actual feelings. Short of gushing or hysterics, it's nice to hear genuine feeling in a query letter.

The nitwit who wrote me this letter picked my name off a list. If you telephoned her right now and asked her what she knew about me, I doubt she'd remember my name let alone anything that makes me "respected".

And it's never wrong to compliment the person who answers the phone.

Bonnie, the cleaning staff here doesn't ever answer the phone. The phone could be on fire and they'd ignore it.

Elektra said...

Note to self...send Miss Snark a fire extinguisher. Gin is flammable.

~~Olivia said...

It sounded like something she read somewhere and changed it to fit the query letter. Not very original.