9.14.2005

IgotcherSnarkRiiiiightHere!

A reader who has now been stripped of her Snarkling status writes:


Now that you've gone all fancy with your blog, it just doesn't seem as snarky.


oh really?
well snark THIS, bubbelah!

When Miss Snark was a tender sprout making her way in the world she had cause to be in the thick of things at a television station. Breaking news! War! Fire! Pestilence! It was exciting! It was energizing! Miss Snark's position required her to answer viewer calls during and after the evening news broadcasts.


Lead story: Three Alarm Fire Guts Warehouse, Homeless Cats Saved in Nick of Time!

Principal viewer response: "Hello, I don't like the anchor's hair! She looks like something the cat dragged in!"



Lead story: Marauding Grammarian Arrested for Displaying Colon in Public!

Principal viewer response: "Hello? Why is the anchor wearing red tonight? It doesn't do a thing for her hair..which is still a rat's nest by the way!"



Lead Story: Sanitation Workers on Strike! Steaming Piles of Rubbish! Mayor Declares Olfactory Emergency!

Principal viewer response: "Hello? That anchor really looks fat. Is it her dress? And why haven't you fixed her hair??"



Lead story: Pope Elopes!

Principal viewer response: "Hello? It's really not a good choice to wear black when you're talking about weddings! Plus, it makes her look fat. And why did she change her hair? It was much better before."



Miss Snark tabulated content categories for the Program Director.
Hair/clothes/fat generated about 63percent of the calls.

Thus it comes as no surprise to Miss Snark, long removed from her television career such as it was, that comments about her hair, clothes, and fat font, should lead the category.

8 comments:

kitty said...

Now it's YOUR turn to reimburse me for spritzing my computer with coffee! OH. MY. GOD. That was so funny!

Miss Snark said...

that will teach you to drink coffee at night. GIN, Kitty, GIN!! It has a medicinal effect on keyboards and monitors. Trust me on this.

Bonnie, Of the Multitude of Snarklings said...

Whoa, I must've missed the memo that said Miss Snark would no longer allow anonymous comments. I had to create a Blogger account just to get in my 2 cents!

Oy, the trauma. I totally forgot what I was going to say.

Gabrielle said...

Snark on, baby, fat font and all!

Rhonda Stapleton said...

I'm dying laughing. Go, Miss Snark!

Maya said...

Hey, redoing your blog site must have worked. You got a thumbs up in today's Publishers Lunch.

Way to go, Miss Snark.

Miss Snark said...

Thanks for the heads up Maya!! I hadn't seen it.
That must have been what got me that inane query this afternoon (see ..Second Prize is Two Weeks In Philly post).

Maya said...

I'll bet you're right!!!

That's what you get for doing such a good job.

BTW, thanks for putting me onto Sarah Weinman. I'm enjoying her blog enormously.