9.07.2005

!Medic! Another gin! I have a raw nerve here!

A Snarkling touches a nerve when s/he asks:
"Oh Goddess of the Gin Pail, if I was your author and I (innocently) asked where my manuscript had been submitted, would you fire me? Or would you warn me before we signed our agreement that I should mind my own business or risk a spanking? (And if I was your author, wouldn't you be working for me?) "

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Do I work for you?
No.
Not unless you want to start paying me by the hour, and writing out a W2 every year. And if you do, Miss Snark has a list of job safety requirements like a little couch for a post luncheon snooze.

I've seen this sentiment before: "your agent works for you" and it's usually followed by some sort of "don't take any crap" "crack the whip" and "show em who's boss".

Yikes.

Let's be clear here.

Miss Snark works WITH you. She's a member of your team, but in no way shape or form does she work FOR you.

She works on your behalf. She advocates for you. She represents you. She will even test your gin for you.

We are colleagues you and I. That's why it's good to know what kind of interaction works best for you (do you want rejections always sent, daily updates etc).

You're not the boss, you're not the customer. You're the writer, I'm the agent. You're the client, I'm your agent.

And if you want to know where your work is I'll tell you every time you email. I'll even tell you on the phone. I'll even send you coded semaphore messages from the Staten Island Ferry if you want, but you have to ask. I never said I didn't do it; I said I don't do it unless you ask, or unless the rejections have content. But if you ask, you get.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, you are really pompous.

kitty said...

INCOMING!

Carter said...

Trembling in trepidation and tugging his forelock, a supplicant grovels in the dust before the Snark Throne:

O Gracious Mistress of the Gin Pail, a thousand pardons for my presumption. Please grant this unworthy one an answer.

Have you ever turned down an offer from an editor when you knew it was too low, and you had full faith and belief that you could get more mooney elsewhere? If not, would you (after consulting your client, of course)?

Nice heels, by the way. Are they real stainless?

Anonymous said...

What does "incoming" mean?

Miss Snark said...

Love those heels Carter! Man oh man, I want six pairs of those.

I lost my last good pair of stilettos ramming Anon1's head up his/her humorless ass.

Too bad Kitty warned him/her and he'd managed to lube up.

Next time.

Bernita said...

Alas...

Carter said...

Sometimes, it can be awfully convenient to be able to run your footwear through the dishwasher and still make your club date.

Miss Snark said...

what dishwasher?
this is New York City.
I'm lucky to have a damn sink.