Ah, the slush pile, Miss Snark loves it so.
Grist for the blog.
Today, a lovely large white envelope. Nice query letter for a novel. Some pages even...all good. Then, what to Miss Snark's astonishment should appear but a "blurb sheet".
Miss Snark was fascinated. Normally one sees blurbs for books that are PUBLISHED. In fact, obtaining blurbs is one of Miss Snark's favorite tasks because it means she gets to yap on the phone with friends and pass it off as work.
Perhaps this was a book previously published, or a sequel? No no. In fact, it's a list of blurbs from...can this be right...editors?
In fact, what this NITWIT has done was cull phrases from his REJECTION LETTERS and use them to try to persuade me to represent the book. And not even personal rejection letters, this guy thinks “due to my heavy workload I can’t take this on” means that.
Clue 1: a rejection letter from an editor means you've already pissed in the pond so taking you on means I have fewer places to submit.
Clue 2: rejection letters from editors mean they aren't willing to BUY it, a sure clue for ME that perhaps this isn't going to be a project I love
Clue 3: the fact you think this is a smart marketing move; that perhaps I don't recognize the names of editors means you are the nittiest of nitwits and thus absolutely ineligible to be a client.
Miss Snark is retiring to the gin parlor for a stiff one.