9.19.2005

Speaking of revisions




"Suddenly, his mind jumped to something that had occurred to him the first time he had played chess with a computer. He had made a mistake and was about to take it back when he thought that, in life, you can’t really take back what you’ve done wrong. The only thing you can do is to improve your way of playing from there on to make up for your mistake. He had decided then that he would never take back a move when playing chess with a computer. Sometimes with a winning game, he made a bad move and lost. He then went back step by step to find the move that had lost the game. That self-imposed discipline not only improved his game, it made him more thoughtful in life.

SPY’S FATE, Arnaldo Correa, (Akashic: 2005)

10 comments:

Brady Westwater said...

Concept - 10
Syntax - 7

Jillian said...

Dreadful.

Demented M said...

This was published?

There's hope for me!

Bernita said...

Always easier to critique someone else's work, isn't it?
Those "hads."

kitty said...

Actually, I find critiquing someone else's work difficult, which is why I admire someone who can.

Bernita said...

What is difficult is to be just and fair.
What works for one writer may look awkward in another work.

Brady Westwater said...

Looking up the writer, he was born and raised in Cuba - but later educated and briefly lived in the United States and now lives in Spain and Cuba. It also seems he writes in Spanish from which this was translated, possilby not by himself, but I don't know.

I say this because I really didn't like the writing at all when I first read it, but once I found the internal rhythms, the writing wasn't that bad, it was the awkward syntax that had thrown me off. And this is not uncommon in translations. But the thought he expresses, is superb.

Demented M said...

Yeah, but as a Spanish speaker who does translation work on and off, this is a horrible translation. Spanish is such a poetic language, to not bring some of that poetry over in translation is a true shame.

M

Alec said...

Shirley,
You guys aren't serious!

You don't think Miss Snark may have posted that for our "getting of wisdom"?

Doh!

You are all joking right. You got how this applies to our revisions. Right? Right?

I love it.

Bernita said...

Miss Snark, you are becoming the leader of a cult.