I am an editor and I have a question for all the novelists out there. Why is practically every novel I get on submission written in the first person present tense? Do novelists learn this in school? Do they think it's a novel way to write? If, for once, I can open my evening's reading and find a departure from this oh-so-tired way of thinking, I would immediately raise it to the top of my list of priorities.
You fall into your slush pile. You emerge, clutching an envelope in your sharpened fangs. You rip it open with fevered urgency. You discover a first person present tense narrative that makes you fear for the fate of civilization. Your howl of anguish is heard far and near.
Killer Yapp hears your cry and joins in. The cacophony rings over the city. The Philharmonic pauses, a moment of existential panic. Wynton Marsalis, rehearsing high above Lincoln Center cocks his head and listens, then returns to his horn.
Miss Snark hears your screams of pain, but ignores you. You hear her cackle of sneering sardonic laughter...and there, just beyond, what is that ..words? You listen hard... Is it , is it saying "bright lights big city bright lights big city"?