Dear Miss Snark, A month ago, I called an editor at a big house in NY to share with her the good news that in Spring '07 my novel--that she rejected a couple of years ago, after keeping me hanging for months on end--is going to be published by another big house in NY. She was, as always, chilly about the whole thing. I thanked her for her interest, which kept me writing, and wished her well. After I hung up, I felt, well, wretched. Although I didn't actually say, "Nah-nah! You missed out!" my motives included this sentiment. Was it okay to let Miss Icicle know I am not spinning off into void because she didn't like my stuff?
No. This is called gloating. It ill becomes you, and you know it cause you felt wretched.
The only time it is ok to make these "neener neener" calls is if an editor still has your manuscript. Then it's called "withdrawing my work from consideration".