11.16.2005

A Snarkling observes the Cocktail Hour

I was wondering if gin is the drink of choice for agents? I browsed a few other agent blogs and they too mention this beverage. I associate gin with floozies and pink thingies. Most of my writing buddies do vodka or whiskey. Some of the more determined writers will do needles but I don't crochet so that doesn't work for me. What do publishers and editors prefer? I wonder if our profession is the only one where getting tipsy make our work read better?

1. You can put gin in an Evian bottle and even the worst writing conference perks up dramatically.

2. Miss Snark IS a floozy. However, she lives in NYC so she doesn't own anything other than black or white. Killer Yapp however has been known to sport a pink tam.

3. Publishers and editors drink the blood of writers and agents and hang upside down in their closets overnight. I can't believe you didn't know this.

4. Vodka and whiskey are for pansies. Real men drink Everclear.

27 comments:

LargeCrepe said...

What is a Killer Yapp? And will it taste better with ketchup?

AzGhostWriter said...

Too funny! I use Everclear in my raditor to keep the car from overheating. Never thought I could drink the stuff too! Well at least I'll know how to survive if I'm ever stranded in New York city during the middle of winter.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I assume Killer Yap is a dog of some sort--likely one of those fluffy ones who wear a bow to hold its hair out of its eyes.

Gin. Hmm.

I go for German Shepherds and Bushmills myself. I'll never make it in this business.

Bernita said...

~choking on her bacardi cocktail~

E. Dashwood said...

Actually, real men drink whisky. (The spelling is not a sic.)

AzGhostWriter said...

Hey Sex, a killer Yapp is one of those subway dwellers who won't stop talking long enough to let you sleep between stops.

Just thought I'd clarify that for you.

P.S. What's with all those fuzzy letters when I tried to post something? It usually takes me three tries to get it right. Okay, four.

La Gringa said...

You might want to try jenever, or Dutch gin, served ice cold and straight up. Not a floozie gin at all! :-)

FastEddieNorris said...

Miss Snark said: "You can put gin in an Evian bottle and even the worst writing conference perks up dramatically."

But what about the smell? I don't have much experience with gin, I prefer to drink grain alcohol out of a measuring cup. Do you drink magical "Hennigan's no-smell, no tell" [Seinfeld] Gin?

Sonarbabe said...

Personally, I like a little Captain in me, but as of late the darn guy comes back to haunt me when I wake up. Nothing like a Captain who out stays his welcome. ;)

Bunneh said...

Nah, I'm on Miss Snark's boat. Too many overindulgences during my undergrad days have ruined rum for me (particularly Cap'n Morgan's Spiced Rum), and it was my mother who introduced me to the joy of the G&T. So far Bombay Sapphire is my favorite brand -- ice cold with tonic and a healthy wedge of lime. It's good fer what ails ya. (And, for reasons I've yet to comprehend or question, it doesn't leave me with a hangover. Also good.)

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Did you ever go to a party and your the only one sober at the end of the night?

I'll tell you from experience, it's ROFLMAO fun to watch how people who drink act!

And as for Killer Yapp...If I remember correctly, it's a poodle, I think!

roach said...

I'm a fan of foo-foo drinks (umbrella, fruit and all) but being lazy it's often cranberry juice and rum (or vodka) at home.

But now the thought of a Bloody Mary made from the blood of a newbie writer sounds tempting. Will have to remember that for the next convention. We'll just keep an eye on all the spiced rum drinkers and take a pint or two at the end of the night. ;>

AzGhostWriter said...

I don't know about being sober and parties, but once I got stopped drinking and found myself on a train heading to Spain. Well I was supposed to visit my real estate agent in Haarelm.

So much for soberity!

AzGhostWriter said...

Where's the edit button? That was suppose to be "Haarlem, the Netherlands".

Fricken writers can't spell worth a darn.

I'm sorry, but my secretary left for the evening and I have to edit my own work. Sucko!

MissWrite said...

For some reason, I always pictured 'Killer Yap' as an overfed Yorkie (complete with Tam). As for me, I prefer the real life-blood of writers, coffee.

Ms. Snark said: Publishers and editors drink the blood of writers and agents and hang upside down in their closets overnight.

Perhaps that's why editors always seem so buzzed--too much caffeine.

Bunneh said...

On the topic of Killer Yap: I've always pictured the pooch as a Chinese Crested. :D

Fran said...

I wonder if you'll respond to Sammy's latest post

http://agentsoutlook.blogspot.com/2005/11/anyone-for-some-smoked-snark.html

I'm very curious about who you are too, like if your many blog claims coincide with your realities (I'm often curious about people in this way, no matter what their professions may be).

Will any of you supposed insiders ever reveal who you really are? Have any of you? I cannot stand the anonymity of the web sometimes. What about revealing your identities through email? If any of you emailed me with this, I wouldn't tell anyone else; I can be obsessive about keeping promises I've made.

Sometimes all this seeming advice and question-answering seems weird to me...and I'm sorry to say that I think way too many posters here seemingly want hand-holding. Watching other writers act in this groupie-like, I-need-constant-guidance way always disturbs me. People, you need to figure out some things for yourselves. Unless you're really, really green as a writer, you should have figured them out by now. And even if you are really, really green, you should work hard on acting as if you're not really, really green (or else you may find yourself getting taken for a ride really, really often).

Also, there are some nuts-and-bolts of agenting/publishing that you (writers) probably don't need to know so well (unless maybe you want to become agents); that's what agents and editors and publishers are for. They must know their jobs in detail--you don't have to, though you should be familiar-enough with their jobs so that you can find a good representative/publishing partner and so that you don't get screwed over by your representative/publishing partner. HOW TO WRITE--that's what writers must know really well, that's what all of you should be focusing on, that's your job. But this is all just my opinion, which probably means diddly.

AzGhostWriter said...

Fran,

Very insightful and well thought out post. But, excuse me, how will this help my alcohol selection tonight?

Maybe there's a support group for writers who like Bourbon?

Fran said...

Thank ye, az. The secret code I inserted in my post says: if you're writing, don't select any alcohol tonight. Even the biggest writing boozers in history--many of them didn't booze while actively writing. They often binge drank and then wrote between binges.

Fran, who prefers getting lost in sex not in drink, though who loves a glass of wine now and then--sangria, plum wine, sake, at least they may have some health-giving properties

AzGhostWriter said...

Fran,

But I write so cleverly when drinking, as this:

Miss Snark hurriedly spooned mash potatoes onto her plate while keeping a close watch on Fran.

"Come'on Fran, don't hog the gin. Give me some, will ya. You know's how much I like spuds with my drinkie."

P.S. Will someone please straighen out those darn letters.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I wrote my whole first book mostly buzzed.

I still really like that one, too.

All the other ones have been written while I was (mostly) sober.

Sal said...

I'm a fan of foo-foo drinks (umbrella, fruit and all) but being lazy it's often cranberry juice and rum (or vodka) at home.

I heard it on good advice from an ex-bartender last Saturday (while imbibing pale green shots of something at a neighbor's party) that one should only drink "wine or beer, brown or clear."

Believe me, Sunday morning I swore to follow his dictum until my dying days.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Fran dear....I see from your blog site that you're @@#$!* tired. Well dear, take a break, stop associating with writer and agent types.

See...we all like coming here and asking advice, and Miss Snark likes answering questions, the stupidier (if that's a word) that the questions are, the better she and we enjoy her answers.

You wrote the longest comment on this thread. That qualifies you as one of the poeple you are ranting about....because...don't look now...but there's a post about your questions...hmmmm!

the chocolatier said...

Pure Premium Russian vodka is the only way to go.

Nicholas Colt said...

Travis Magee and I swear by Boodles (and good Mexican beer, of course).

For excellent exfoliation, saturate a washcloth with Everclear and scrub vigorously.

Jude

Moi said...

All right, I am the only one who knows that you crochet with hook and knit with needles. I might be the only crafty one here. LOL!

Never had gin, but prefer a brand of whiskey (not sic) that passes like ginger ale in the right bottle. ;)

Catja (green_knight) said...

roach, would yours be a _Bloody Mary Sue_?

Fran - if Miss Snark is not the real thing, then she's much at staying in character than any of us could hope to be in our writing.

Starving in a garrett might be a poetic image for a writer, but in reality, so many mistakes have been made by others that it's not necessary to repeat them all, so if exchanging ideas with other writers can prevent that, why would we turn down those opportunities?