The Velveteen Snark

How can a real, working, successful agent have so much time to blog all day. With this many posts each day, methinks you ain't real...

Ah yes; I don't fit your vision of what a "real, working successful agent" should be, so the problem is me. Right.

This is the same lack of critical thinking that on the flip side allowed Dorothy Deering (TEN PERCENT OF NOTHING) to hoodwink people into giving her hundreds if not thousands of dollars to agent their books. They wanted to believe she was an agent so much they didn't actually LOOK at what she was doing. In this email we have someone (and there have been others) who are so convinced no agent could or would do this that they don't actually LOOK at what's going on.

Ask yourself: do the posts make sense? Am I telling you anything that doesn't jibe with what you've read or experienced in your own publishing career?

Second: look at the comments or questions from self identified agents or editors. Do they write in to say "Miss Snark you're full of it"? You only need to look as far as the Bookner website to realize editors aren't shy about calling them as they see em. Corollary: realize that anyone can comment if they have a blogger account, I don't review comments before posting, and you don't see a bunch of comments withdrawn. From that you might reasonably conclude that people, if they want, can comment that the post is crap and it will appear on the comments column.

Third: You're basing your doubt on the thing you know the least about: the amount of time Miss Snark has available. Unless you work in this office or live at Snark Central, you don't know anything.

Here's some info for you to consider: I don't take care of children. I don't drive. I don't cook. I don't keep house. That alone adds about three hours of available time to my day that other people don't have...if not more.

You're welcome to think what you want of course. I'm not quite sure what you want to accomplish by sending me emails expressing doubt that I'm real. Perhaps you can't figure out how someone else can do this cause you can't?


quanty p biederman said...

And to add my two-cents (but of course Miss Snark does not need me to jump to her defense) some people slave over every word they write, writing and rewriting. Others can whip out a snappy blog post in no time flat. Obviously Miss Snark is a "whipper".

kitty said...

I don't take care of children. I don't drive. I don't cook. I don't keep house. That alone adds about three hours of available time to my day that other people don't have...if not more.

Oh my, oh my. You have not described 3-hrs of chores, you have described a full time job. My husband, who would have nothing to do with these modern ways of sharing duties, once expressed interest in me writing a best seller.

"And when would I do that?" I asked.

"In your spare time." >:O

Bethany said...

Ahh, I do so love a good chewing-out. ^_^

(And Kitty, my advice is to let the jerk write his own stupid best-seller if he has so much of that "spare time" thing going around. What a moron.)

Bernita said...

A jerkoff.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark a pretender?


the chocolatier said...

The people that are so obsessed with figuring out Miss Snark's occupation/identity are wasting their time. This is the age of internet identity fraud, anyone with a connection can be whoever they want to be.

I know that it's really difficult for a lot of people to understand that. The idea would never occur to my parents. Unfortunately for me, I've been brought up using the internet and I know only too well that people lie and the internet makes it very easy to have an alter-ego.

That being said, why does it matter? This blog is really educational (not to mention absolutely hilarious), so whether Miss Snark is an agent, a writer, an editor or a giant dancing chihuahua, I don't give a shit. She knows more about publishing than I do, I'm learning and that's the only important thing.

AzGhostWriter said...

I think it's a shame this whole identity issue comes up so frequently. I agree that it is Miss Snark’s right to remain anonymous if she/he so chooses. What I find interesting is that the detractors don't take the time to just relax and enjoy the ride.

As I said before, some people just need to get a life and move on. I am too busy writing, critiquing others work, and living to waste my time with trivial pursuit stuff, like trying to figure out Miss Snark's identity.

Bill Peschel said...

Another point: Miss Snark's writings are direct and solely about her work. It doesn't take much effort to write about contracts, royalties and the nefarious behavior of agents — with occasional sighs towards the gin bottle and George Clooney — when that's your full-time job.

Being amusing, however, takes work for some of us. With Miss Snark, it comes naturally.

archer said...

Your English is too good. I can tell that you were born Hungarian.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

"..or a giant dancing chihuahua,"...now that's a word picture!

I dare the e-mailer to 'join' us here, there are 180 people(at last count on the frappr map)who would have something to say!

Bridget Medora said...

archer -- not only Hungarian, but of royal blood. She is a princess. *wink*

Ahavah said...

There's nothing wrong with being curious! I have several secret online identities - as a rapper, the tooth fairy, and geriatric super-sleuth - and my fans are always trying to figure me out.

(Of course, as geriatric super-sleuth, I believe I know Ms. Snark's secret identity. I can't say though, because she plays poker regularly with my bookie, and that's just not good politics.)

Katrien said...

As a reader, I'm very pleased that this blog is updated so often and with such useful information, to boot.

The 'you can't be a real agent because you blog so much' comment strikes me as puerile. I suppose Teresa and Patrick Nielsen Hayden aren't real editors either, since they have time to maintain Making Light? Or that Cory Doctorow isn't a real writer? (If you think Miss Snark's blog is updated a lot, check out BoingBoing.)

People make or find time for the things they want to do. Like blogging. Or writing.

Stacy said...

And some people can't find the time to go potty. This makes them tense and inclined to be jealous of those Others who have time for hobbies, pets and blogging.

I have no hobbies, no pets, and I don't blog. I'm jealous of Miss Snark's time management skills.

Problem Child said...

The aspersions cast on your identity inspired my own blog rant today. (Not that you can't skewer the infidels yourself...)

But I'm grateful to the published authors, the editors, the agents, who take the time to answer nitwit questions and demystify the voodoo that is publishing.

So this Snarkling wonders, in our pessimistic no-such-thing-as-a-free-lunch world, why would anyone take the time to offer thier keen insight and gems of wisdom for nothing? What's in it for you? What do you get out of it--other than your own cult following, of course.

Problem Child