11.19.2005

Yes, I should be reading, but yanno...I'm not

Some things can't be described, they just have to be seen to be believed.
This is one. Warning: cover the keyboard, set down the coffee.

15 comments:

kitty said...

1.Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Can't stop laughing!!!

Ballpoint Wren said...

I can play this game.

The Very Best of Miss Snark

1.When Miss Snark mingles with authors in her stilettos, there are no survivors.

2.If you rearrange the letters in Miss Snark it reveals her credo: "Sans Smirk."

3.There is no "I" in team. There is one "I" in Miss Snark. You can figure that one out while Miss Snark feeds another set of edible panties to Killer Yap.

4. Miss Snark's Killer Yap is the reason why Michiko Kakutani is reclusive.

5. Miss Snark can outsnob the snobs but don't you dare touch her latest issue of New York.

6. When Miss Snark goes to donate blood, she brings at least one partial to read.

7.When Miss Snark sips from her gin pail, she doesn't get tipsy. The gin gets Snarky instead.

8. Miss Snark is the long lost love child of Joyce Maynard and JD Salinger".

9.When Miss Snark was dancing on the heads of bald vice presidents, she wasn't clawing her way to the top; she was reaching for George Clooney.

Mel Francis said...

I LOVED 28. Poor Charlie Brown.

LOL. Thanks for posting this. I needed a good laugh today!

-Mel

Tsavo Leone said...

Ah yes, the Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator...

I spent part of this afternoon playing with it (I linked to it via the Vin Diesel entry on Wikipedia). Obviously Miss Snark took the easy route and got someone else to play with it for her (oo-er!).

Bethany said...

Haha. ^_^ Nice ones for Miss Snark, Wren.

I have a(nother) question, O mighty snarktastic one. I'm a young writer-- as in, seventeen. I wrote my last book when I was sixteen and I've been polishing it ever since, and I've been getting a good deal of positive feedback from literary agents that has me extremely optimistic. I don't make it a habit to mention that I'm still a minor in my cover letter, because I'm afraid that it will turn most agents off of me. Nothing I write is aimed at teenagers, since I'm writing for the college set, and it worries me that they might see, "Hmm, seventeen? Another Amelia Atwater Rhodes/Christopher Paolini coming right up!" if they didn't just say, "Yeech, teenager, get it away!" right off the bat.

But recently, legal issues came up (remember the release form?) and I mentioned that I couldn't sign it because of my age, and I expected them to tell me to go away. Instead, they sounded more eager to hear from me and just told me to have my parents sign the form. Have I been doing wrong in trying to approach this entire industry as an adult? Should I say in my cover letters or queries, "PS, I'm seventeen"? Or should I back off for another few months until I'm legally an adult so it's not even an issue?

Miss Snark said...

I haven't laughed this hard since Kitty created that Elaine Bennis picture. Thanks Wren! What a hoot!!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

OMG....that was hysterical...#1..word picture, word picture..yikes..I hope it doesn't chase me in my sleep :-)

There was someone in the comments over there that snorted Coca-Cola all over her keyboard. That's way worse than coffee, all sticky and such.

Wren, that was a great list on Miss Snark.ROFLMAO. now I know someone will add to that list!

Ballpoint Wren said...

10. And how those authors got into her stilettos, she'll never know...

Peter L. Winkler said...

Unbelievable. Unbelievably stupid, it was.

the chocolatier said...

bethany - I personally would not advise you to back off, if your work is good and you're getting positive feedback, and your parents are willing to sign - then why? But, I'm also curious to see what Miss Snark has to say about this, as I'm another young aspiring writer.

LargeCrepe said...

If Vin Disel could write...

1.He'd sell his first draft.
2.Write 12 hours a day without interruptions.
3.Always have an outline.
4.Touch type without errors.
5.Hang around Miss Snark´s blog happy in the fact he'd shagged everyone there...
6.Know the meaning the 'word verification' word when signing in

Sponge Girl said...

The only way to cover up my laughter is to pretend I'm crying.

Now the entire office thinks I have deep, haunting emotional issues.

Rhonda Stapleton said...

That was freaking hilarious. I'm cracking up...

Amie Stuart said...

I'm laughing so hard my face hurts!

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