12.27.2005

#26 Crapometer

Crime fiction

THE AXE FALLS THUS

Emily thinks her day has hit rock bottom when she is fired from her long-time job at American Pharmaceuticals. Then two FBI agents arrive at her front door. Then someone shoots them dead.

While running from the killer and hiding from the police, Emily cuts through company rhetoric to unravel a mystery of tampered ethics and illegal narcotics.

After she learns that American Pharmaceuticals has been torched and the principals murdered, Emily realizes she has to take matters in her own hands if she is ever going to regain her life. She contacts a police officer central to the official investigation and together they set a trap for the killer using Emily as bait.

When things go horribly wrong, Emily ends the unforeseen chase at the public gardens by laying out the killer with a brick.

Her self-confidence regained, Emily finally seeks closure with her ex-husband in order to open the door to a new romance with a now ex-coworker.


Well, aliens don’t arrive, that’s a good thing.

Other than that of course, by now, after reading the other synopsis posted you can see what’s wrong here. We need more about Emily and what makes her interesting to us. We need to know a LOT more about the plot.

A synopsis needs to entice an agent to read more. This doesn’t. This screams “you said I needed a synopsis so here’s one, now quit badgering me.”



There’s no such thing as “tampered ethics”.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the critique, Miss Snark. I thought you'd be a lot tougher, actually!

Best
Tricia in UK