#56 Crapometer


What Katy hears first upon arriving in Moose Tooth, where residents there typically give directions by way of the Lickspittle Saloon, is "the West is being choked with weeds like you.” But Katy's story isn’t just some regurgitated tale about the self discoveries of some urban newbie in the west. If Dorothy Parker was a rock and roller and went west, this would be the novel she would write.

When people tell me they write like Dorothy Parker it usuallys means they use a pen.

One night at Your Alibi Saloon, in a small town called Moose Tooth, Katy tells Erin--a moderately successful writer and practitioner of Chinese internal arts (she’s a chop suey chef?) who, while maintaining that chip on her shoulder, is without question fascinated by Katy--about Luke, the married Western photographer with whom Katy's had an affair at a writer's retreat before arriving in town. (count the words in that sentence. Now diagram it. Now think about why it’s not a good choice) Katy's story, told from both Erin's and Katy's point of view and punctuated by additional orders for rounds of drinks, relates the details of that fling with Luke that ultimately brought Katy to Moose Tooth.

Katy makes no secret of her shameless tendencies, which range from adultery to a general disregard for what passes as well-mannered in the West (this translates as the desire, if not the ability, to cover up most of whatever you might have done and lie about the rest.)

With a double Jim Beam in hand, Katy recounts the lessons she's learned after a year in Moose Tooth. Lessons about western men, surviving friendships in a small town and her strange regard for Sophie, the tattooed, knocked-up, self proclaimed black-sheep outlaw from a prominent Moose Tooth family who called Katy a weed in the first place.

well, this one wins the prize for most words, least said.

1 comment:

jerewrites said...

Hey, Miss Snark, Merciless Mistress:

I am enjoying the hell out of this entire Crap-o-meter series. Maybe you derive some sadistic pleasure out of doing this, but I'm guessing your principal motivation is otherwise. I think you truly want to help aspiring writers. It's very kind of you to do so. This takes beaucoup time and brain drain, and you're not getting paid for it. How un-Republican.

OK, enough of my smarmy adulation. Get on with the ego-shredding. I'm laughing all the way, and learning a lot.

Subservient Snarkling, Jerewrites