In the Five Kingdoms of Rhadon, now united under a single king, two associations of mages exist under an uneasy truce. The author of the 'Diary of an Awkward Mage' is Valedon rha Kenui, member of the ruling body - the Ofran - of the weaker, the 'Black' Ishtar.
you’re missing some words here. This sentence doesn’t make sense.
Here’s how it reads to me: The author of (title) is (name), member of the ruling body of the weaker, the Black Ishtar.
And what’s a mage?
What ambitions Valendon held when he was elected have crumpled before the demands of bureaucracy, personified in Taslin, administrator of the academy of the Black.
There’s a reason we have you capitalize the names of characters. As of now I’m pretty confused about who is who and what is what.
When a new member to the Ofran has to be elected, Valendon begins to face not only his fellow members, but his own attitudes. He is shaken from his complacency by the gradual discovery that on the anniversary of the magic-assisted destruction of the vibrant city of Elechan, the
Black Ishtar will have to defend itself before the king. This anniversary lies (anniversaries do not lie, they occur; lie is a description of a physical place) a mere seven years from the beginning of his diary, too close to ignore, but too far in the future to take direct action.
To survive, the Black Ishtar needs to be unified in purpose; with a strong Ofran and an archmage well-versed in diplomacy. It must also be seen to eliminate favoritism and any breaking of those rules put in place to protect both members of the White Ishtar and the general population of the five kingdoms.
I have no idea what you are talking about here, none. this is not a good sign.
What Valendon finds instead is an archmage who takes little interest in the future of his Ishtar; six members of the Ofran - himself included - who should, for the sake of peace, not spend much time under the same roof; a library that is barred to all students; and an
Ishtar that lies in shambles. The newest member of the Ofran, Benvar, whom Valendon had
half-heartedly elected, makes his hand felt almost from the beginning, mostly by interfering in the trial of a personal friend, Yako fen Rhuad.
Valendon begins, as Taslin advises him, to change the Ishtar one mage at a time, ensuring fair trials for all that would be tested in their proficiency, restoring the Academy as a place of learning, and forming tentative bonds with mages across the five kingdoms, particularly with his fellow Ofran members Taslin and Itish.
His opponents in this quest are a group that call themselves the Mages of Dhia, who have their own vision of the future. They see themselves as superior within the Black, and almost succeed in driving Itish from the Ofran. Valendon manages to foil that plan, and succeeds in forging connections to Dhia of his own; but the Mages retaliate in collaboration with Benvar, forcing,the archmage to retire and the Ofran to choose between three, seemingly equally
unsuitable candidates, for the archmageship.
The diary ends with the uneasy election of Yako fen Rhuad to the position of archmage, a man upon whom the hopes of the Black Ishtar will rest, but whose election was not without misgivings.
Well, I’m totally at sea here. It’s like reading Greek..I recognize the letters but I don’t recognize the words.
When you create a world you’ve got to give us a framework. Without that, I don’t know
what you're talking about.
Here is how to start: The hero of the story is:
He faces a big problem. The problem is:
He gets advice about how to solve it from :
That advice is:
He gets conflicting advice from:
That advice is:
The hero faces a challenge from:
The challenger wants to do this to the hero:
The problem is resolved when:
From these sentences you have a framework.
You have to have ALL that information, pretty much in that order for me to understand what you’re talking about.
If I’d looked at this earlier I might have thought I didn’t get it cause I don’t read this genre, but we’re late enough in the line up that I know a mess when I see one even in fantasy.