As a woman down the road from Crawford (in the Texas Hill Country) I thought you might want to know I'm pretty sure I saw the crapometer pulled over by the side of the road just north of Luckenbach by the highway patrol. The good news is it seemed to be toeing the line rather well.
As one of the many synopsis writers preparing to submit to ... the stiletto... let me know if any bail money is needed. I'm sure we could raise it with very little trouble.
Texas Highway Patrol called last night to say the Crapometer has slithered through the bars of the holding cell, stolen a box of doughnuts, the contents of the petty cash drawer, and was last seen fleeing up the street to the Greyhound bus station. An all points bulletin for the escaped fugitive has been issued.
Since there are only a few days left before the Crapometer is due back here in lovely New York City, I'm hoping if you've SEEN it, you'll let me know so we can alert the bounty hunters. I fear this may be job more suited for Ranger than Stephanie; the crapometer should be considered extremely dangerous, particularly if you approach it with bad grammar.