12.22.2005

Crapometer open for synopses 12/23 to 12/25-UPDATED

The crapometer has gnawed its way back to Snarkville and is ready to be fed.

Rules:
1. Send your synopsis to me via email only: misssnark@earthlink.net
case sensitive address.
no attachments.

2. in the subject line say: synopsis

3. 1000 words max-rigidly enforced

4. include the genre at the top of the email

5. include "yes it's ok for you to post this on the blog" at the bottom
clarifications based on question below: the entire synopsis goes up, not just highlights.

further clarification based on question below: the crapometer is voluntary. If you change your mind, just email me and I'll delete it.

6. Crapometer open between right now and 12midnight 12/25, Sunday.

7. I reserve the right to publish all, or none, and with snarky comments. By sending the synopses you agree to that.

Questions?
Ask away!!!

25 comments:

James Goodman said...

I thought that was thunder I heard outside. I guess it was just the growling stomach of the Crapometer. :)

Anonymous said...

Well I'm thinking, is this what I really wanted for my birthday tomorrow. No brainer!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Weeehaw! The end of the transit strike put Miss Snark in an excellent mood!

Harry Connolly said...

5. include "yes it's ok for you to post this on the blog" at the bottom

I assume this is a formality, since you won't be commenting anywhere but on the blog and there's pretty much no other reason to send anything, right?

Wouldn't it be better if this note was at the top of the message, so you wouldn't have to read the whole thing if it's not there?

Brady Westwater said...

This is after Christmas? By which calendar?

And, yes, I know this is a straight line...

M. C. Pearson said...

Gulp. I've sent mine to you. Hope it isn't too crappy!

Demented M said...

I'm confused on #5 as well. Does it mean you won't post the synopsis in its entirety or won't run it through the crapometer at all? I don't mind having excerpts posted, but would prefer not to have the whole thing on the internet.

I hadn't planned on sending anything in, but if you're willing to just post the highlights, I would participate.

M

Susanne said...

Since I have an agent, I won't be participating in this frenzy, but I'm looking forward to the resulting avalanche and the snarky comments that are sure to follow. Let the games begin!

Anonymous said...

I have no synopsis to submit but am slavering in anticipation of reading the work of those brave souls who do. I always learn so much from the Crapometer. Besides, nothing puts me in the holiday spirit faster than the thought of laughing at the pathetic efforts of others. It's just like the family gift exchange.

AzGhostWriter said...

Is it possible to withdraw our sysnopsis since the change (clarification) to #5 was done after submitting?

Linda Pollack said...

ATTENTION ALL SNARKLINGS!!!

Miss Snark's Crapometer is the best gift ever, so let's show our appreciation by giving back. Her list of favorite charities is available at http://www.whatgoesaround.org/
It's fun, it's easy, and it's the least we can do.

Miss Snark is the most altruistic person I know. The only reason I found out about this list is because I asked. So now I'm asking you. She helps us all year. Let's help her help others. Please.

M. G. Tarquini said...

I'm hyperventilating. Expect mine later today, Miss Snark.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Miss Snark, when will you start posting the chewed up bits of our lives?

Existential Man said...

linda pollack has got the right idea: the crapometer is not a huge mouth waiting to devour your offering and then spit it back out to you in snark-bitten pieces!

you are being given a gift>> an agent is willing to give you feedback before you send it out into the cold, cruel world...change your thinking and welcome any and all criticisim as a chance to improve the thing.

the "crapometer," when stripped of its snarky veneer, is actually a kind, loving mechanism for assessing your synoptic skills compared to the standard required in the Big City...

and get used to having your stuff put before a critical public because the whole game of big league publishing is about toughening your hide to the inevitable criticism and rejection from all levels--agents, editors, publishers, marketing reps, readers, amazon "reviews", real reviewers, etc.

Dennie McDonald said...

I was going to ... but yeah - I think not (color me a chicken - bok bok!)

Anonymous said...

Just want to add my thanks that you're doing this, Miss Snark. I'm very much looking forward to it. I'm not submitting anything, because I'm not at that point yet, but I'm sure to learn a lot. So, thanks in advance, Miss Snark, and thanks to all the brave souls who are submitting their work for the benefit of all of us.

Candice Gilmer said...

Miss Snark, will the names of the Snarklings that submit be posted with their synopsis?

quanty p biederman said...

Okay, I'm in. I agree with linda and existential--this is a fantastic opportunity.

Thank you, Miss Snark. May your gin pail overflow (but not spill a drop) this holiday season and in the coming New Year.

Rick said...

It's downright frustrating! Like Susanne I'm already agented, so I have no excuse to be Crapometered, but now I wonder how my synopsis reads to editors.

jwebb said...

I sent mine right away (after thoroughly rewriting it weeks ago when the crapometer synopsis feeding was mentioned) and want to add my thanks to Miss Snark for doing this - I've learned from reading her comments on the query letters and first pages submitted earlier and hope to see where my synopsis can be improved (it's already much better than it was, I hope) before I send out the next batch of queries.

And I wasn't thinking quickly enough last night or I would have included bribes, oops, offerings to Killer Yapp with the synopsis. Lately, Lucky has been happily accepting ribs for his Christmas present instead of soup bones. Does Killer Yapp have a favorite meaty snack?

tremblor said...

I had one of those inexplicable niggling feelings and brought my laptop on my trip to Florida.

I am so happy now that I could grow back a full head of hair.

Thank you Miss Snark, and Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah!

You're awesome! Let the games begin!

KillerYapp said...

I'm a vegetarian.

Armadillo said...

Thanks so much for doing this. I can't wait to see the results.

makoiyi said...

Well then, I'll share my Christmas carob dog cookies with you - Mak, the Irish wolfhound.

kaolin fire said...

:eagerly awaits the snarking: