Cuteness is banned

Do you have "pretty email"?
Background pics?
Lovely fonts?

My email catcher calls this "spam".
I get a little note from them "we've diverted this evil virus from your pristine computer".

If you are e-querying, PLAIN text. No cutie pie pics of the dogs.
No nothing.


Simon Haynes said...

I used to hate those 'Email has evolved' taglines with flashing gif images and so on. Then I wrote my own email app and they were the first to get the cleansing treatment. Now I just see plain text, no matter what frippery the sender thought I'd like to bust my eyeballs over.
I sympathise with anyone still reading emails which look like dayglo greeting cards.

Alphabeter said...

This is what I get for trying to include a picture of George Clooney wearing Snoopy(tm) boxers!

Molly said...


I long for an application that I can send back to the original emailer which shows a slathering monster devouring their bouncing smileys, cavorting frogs, insane flower background, and blinking lights.

Miss Snark said...

Alpha...hubba hubba!!!

Wendy said...

We get emails from dumbasses who ignore the "no email submissions policy" on my company's website, and at least half of them come in with stupid backgrounds and cutesy fonts.

Bernita said...

Latest version of the ribbon-tied manuscript, I suppose.
I hate them.

Anonymous said...

Writers aren't very good at following directions. I find that at least half of the writers who send me partials do not follow directions such as putting their name, email address, address, and phone number on the top of the first page of the partial.

Another thing that bugs me is when I pass on a manuscript but make a comment on it because I feel it had potential and then the writer emails me to tell me that she'll have it back to me in no time. If they do that, I just send back an email that says, "No thanks."

I'm sure Miss Snark can tell you about more of the silliness that arrives as email. I had one writer list all his engineering writing projects (for some big company) as writing credits. Like I could care.

The worst thing, though, and the one that makes me want to puke is when a writer flatters me (like I don't see through it) and then goes on to tell me how much I'm going to love her character because her character is Everyman and everyone's going to want to read about him. Ugh.