Nitwit of the Day gets a friend

Love your blog Miss Snark. Do you take submissions at this email address? Don't hit me for asking.

As soon as you can answer the basic question about Miss Snark, have at it.

What have you sold?

ok ok, from the comments column is extracted "better wording"
What has Miss Snark sold?

(everyone's a critic today..shouldn't y'all be writing? or fondling the remote?)

What, you mean you don't know? Why on earth would you submit to an agent you know nothing about? I hope your writing is clearer than your thinking today.


Anonymous said...

What have you sold? Does my soul count for anything?

Rick said...

This time, Miss Snark, I have to disagree. No, we don't know what you have sold, but we know a fair amount about what you take and don't take. (I'd know not to send my fantasy ms, even if I didn't have an agent.) Most to the point, we've had plenty of time to run your blog through our own Crapometers or other brands of bullshit detectors. The needle on mine is flatlined - you may or may not really drink gin, but for sure you're a legit agent.

You have good reasons not to take email queries at your blog address - you'd be buried under queries, not to mention whole unsolicited mss from the nitwit contingent. But we have equally good reasons to take your bona fides as credible.

So there!

occasional_anonymous said...

Clearly the question would have been better phrased as "What has Miss Snark sold?".

Ahavah said...

Um, I believe she meant if you can answer that question about Miss Snark.

Brady Westwater said...

Can the Christmas sprit be getting to even... Miss Snark?

Just as I was prepared to duck for the well deserved splattering of body parts - an almost... snarkless... reply.

And, of course, as always, a useful reply, but - alas - lacking the necessary venom to make it.... entertaining.

jessicacrockett said...

Miss Snark, reading your blog makes my Monday.
It was the title is this post that set me off - I was cackling aloud for five minutes. The 'what-the-heck-is-she-on' looks I attracted from the cubicle-maze only added to my hysterics. It may be Monday Morning Madness, but damn, you can sure make me laugh.
Thanks for having such a Snarkalicious sense of humour/humor.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Wow, for a minute I thought I was having a flashback...forgetting that the other side of the world is ahead of us.

But I digress...Miss Snark is certainly in a festive Christmas spirit...using colorful comments (literally)

And as for the "2nd Nitwit of the day"...I'm going to just think it, rather than say it!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I'm with the nitwits on this one. More than things sold, I value sound advice from an agent. I think you offer that, Ms Snark, even if I don't know what you've peddled lately. I'm willing to risk a 39 cent query letter. I'll even risk $1.80 to send the first three chapters. But I'd need to know a LOT more about you before I'd send my whole manuscript, especially if you wanted to read it exclusively. Due diligence has its place, but that place does not have to be on the front end.

So, NITWITS UNITE! I vote you take email queries for 24 hours. Try it, maybe you'll like it! Anyway, you're the one who said this is a slow time of year, right?

Miss Snark said...

One of the things you'd need to know is that I despise exclusivity and never ask for it.

Pithy advice is cheap. Sardonic sneers are cheaper. You want an agent who can and has sold things.

And don't ever send a manuscript unless someone asks for it or you two will be Nitwit for the Day.

It's not that slow. I keep getting interrupted to bail the Crapometer out of various jails, Hooters bars and Baptist revival meetings.

Feisty said...

Why is the Crapometer going to Baptist revival meetings? And Hooters bars? It's thirsty and wants to get saved? And then it lands in jail? What DOES this Crapometer really want?

Sounds like it's having an identity crisis. Call it home.
It's starting to sound like a hormonal teenager.

Miss Snark said...

Doesn't everyton go to Hooters bars for the food? I mean, what else is there? And Baptist revival meetings for the opportunites to be healed of bad grammar. Jail cause, yanno, you start talking about evolution in Kansas and they lock you up.

Shadow said...

"Doesn't everyton go to Hooters bars for the food? I mean, what else is there? "

Poker tournaments.

My son won second place one week and first place the next. The prize was a wing party for up to 15 people and 250 wings. They actually managed to finish all 250 of them, though he complained for a week afterwards that everything smelled like wings. No sympathy from me as I ROTFLMAO.

Feisty said...

Ah, yes, Hooters for food. That's why everyone goes. I'm glad you answered that question for me.

I hope that the Crapometer soon learns its lesson and cuts the crap.