12.05.2005

Nitwit of the Day!

Miss Snark is taking a break from being interrogated by the Secret Service to dive into her slush pile.

Ah, yes. The Eager Beaver lad who spend $13.65 to send me a query letter by Express Mail.
He mailed it on 12/1. It's on my desk now. Yes, I opened it, thinking it might be my acceptance letter from Sundance (Killer Yapp vs The Vegan) but no, it's a query letter.

Guess where it goes? Yup. Right on the pile of all the OTHER letters that arrived in envelopes with a 37cent stamp.

Try not to look like an idiot in your query letters is my standard advice.
Don't BE an idiot and send it the most expensive way possible.
Trust me on this.

15 comments:

harridan said...

Oh jeesh!

Sending query letters express mail would break a person eventually.

Wow

Stephanie Bose said...

I just finished reading "The First Five Pages" by Noah Lukeman and he encourages the aspiring writer to do just that -- spend the extra money and have the letter registered. He says it may tick off the agent or editor, but it will get the person's attention.

Not a trick I would personally try, but I pity anyone who read this part of the book and went out and did just as Lukeman suggests...like this poor bloke did...

Justin R. Buchbinder said...

Sure this isn't some sort of a trick Killer Yapp is playing on you? I can understand expressing back a partial or full if requested (hell, I'd print it immediately, and skydive to the agent's mailbox to deliver it quicker). But a QUERY?

Is that his/her way of making you feel as though it's urgent?

More like nitwit of the week, this one.

Anonymous said...

HELP! About six months ago I signed up with a small agency. I love my agent and have found her to be both supportive and willing to bluntly honest. She has her own "crap-o-meter" so to speak. We've had some nibbles and hope to sell the book soon. She's just emailed me to say she's going with another agency and asked me to go along with her.

How do I decide to stay or go? I love the agency she is with- it has a strong leader and a focus on career building. Having said that- I love the agent- she's the one who is excited about my work. I still feel like such a newbie- how do I decided?
Eileen

Bernita said...

Sounds like a postal service paranoid.

MissWrite said...

So, I suppose having my query hand delivered by a 5'10" male resembling a greek god would have no bearing on how quickly it was read?

Damn, there goes that idea. *Fishing through drawers in search of a lousy stamp.*

Anonymous said...

I sent my COD, is that okay?

Monkey said...

Anonymous said...
I sent my COD, is that okay?


ROFLMAO!!

You make the Monkey laugh! :-)

Jack said...

I send partials or mss with delivery confirmation, but Express? It *is* in that first 5 pages book though, so I suppose I understand why they did it. Talk about pricey though.

harridan said...

Okay, express mail is kinda over the top, but I've heard never ever send a mail requiring a delivery confirmation in form of a signature.

It's kinda like "okay, this little notice thing is stuck on our door because we weren't available to sign at the time. Meaning we have to go pick up this package?" NOT!

The Gambino Crime Family said...

Thankfully, Miss Snark is in the literary business or your query letters might wind up here - Query Letters I Love.

It's a site run by some wonderfully bitter Hollywood producer and it's where bad query letters go to get punished...

Koala said...

Further to Miss Write...I'm thinking that having George Clooney hand deliver a query might just get Miss Snark's attention. Alas, I fear that her attention might not be entirely devoted to the query.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Harridan, I think he means the kind of confirmation that is "Track and Confirm". It has a barcode number on it and you go online, sign up for email tracking and they email you when it's been delivered.

No one should ever do the "require a signature" thing for the reason you stated, unless they want to pass Go, directly to the circular file!

Rick said...

Bonnie - very good call. Track and Confirm costs about a dollar, and lets you know the mail got there, without requiring the recipient to do a thing.

Janet McConnaughey said...

Misswrite -

You have a guy who resembles a Greek god, and you're sending him out to deliver mail?? ;-D

Janet