Nitwit of the Day

Miss Snark has been out with her pals at holiday revels. Gin pails and poodles have been flying and no pedicab cyclist is safe from the piercing whistle of girls in heels who like to watch well muscled men cycle up Sixth Ave.

Miss Snark has attended several festive events associated with her chosen field . No, not bootlegging, get your mind out of the criminal gutter here. Miss Snark attended publishing parties.

Now, dear Snarklings, should an opportunity arise to socialize with an agent, I suggest you take it. There's nothing that warms up a cold query letter more than "remember the great conversation we had trying on shoes at Barneys after the cocktail party".

However. And you knew there was a however.
However, what you don't want to do, ever are any of these:

interrupt a conversation between two agents and begin pitching your book, or the book of your significant other.

have a conversation and then ask if the agent will take your pages then and there

talk about your book at all.

Now, before you all begin telling me you'd never do this, let me say this. Of course you wouldn't. As devoted blog readers you know this is the fastest way to Nitwitville.

Of course all of those DID happen to Miss Snark and her boon companions within the last seven days.


Bonnie S. Calhoun said...

So...pray tell...Miss Snark? How did you handle the offending nitwits?

Did you burst into song, singing praise to their nitwittedness (Yikes! Is that a word?)

Did you plant a wooden-heeled stiletto into their blood-sucking little heart.

Ot did you just go Urban and whack 'em with a chair?

Regale us with your adventure? Please!

Tribe said...

What? No stories? C'mon, something uniquely bone-headed must have been said...

Anonymous said...

Dearest Miss Snark,

You are just the most delightful companion to my Jack Daniels and cigarette at this late hour. (Sorry, I O.D.'d on gin in high school and lost my taste for it.) Here's something I witnessed once at a reading here in New York. An agent who was in the audience walked right up to the editor who was heading the reading - and started pitching one of her client's books right in the middle of everything. We just couldn't believe it! So an agent can be guilty of this kind of behavior too. Not that YOU would ever do this, well-mannered and charming as you are. By the way, that editor requested my material (at another time)and after six or seven months, has still not answered my emails or gotten back to me in any way. It seems that there can be rudeness from all ends, not just from us innocent, talented writers.

archer said...

There's nothing that warms up a cold query letter more than "remember the great conversation we had trying on shoes at Barneys after the cocktail party".

And you didn't even mind my wig.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of nitwit questions ...

My first book is forthcoming from a major publishing house. I emailed my agent to ask if it would be appropriate for me to send holiday gifts to my editor, her asst., and the marketing and publicity folks. She said yes.

And now for my dimwitted question. Would it be okay if I sent the same gift to each, or should I single out my editor for something more special?