12.09.2005

Party Nitwits

Some time back (before she OD'd on 25 word synopses of her romantic fate) Miss Snark mentioned she'd been to holiday revels also attended by nincompoops. Several people asked what Miss Snark does when confronted by such people.

Not for nothing is Miss Snark snarky.

NW: I want to tell you about my book! blah blah blah

MS: Did you bring sample pages?

NW: (in a tone of stupefied delight) Yes!

MS: Did you bring an SASE?

NW: What?

MS: A self addressed, stamped envelope.

NW: nooo

MS: Did you want me to read the pages right here and tell you what I think?

NW: (pretty sure now this conversation has taken a turn for the worse) well,no, not exactly.

MS: Without a stamped self addressed envelope with your pages, I'd really have no choice but to critique it here and tell you what I think.

NW: I guess I could mail it to you. Do you have a card?

MS: No, I wasn't planning on discussing business at a holiday party so I didn't bring my briefcase.

NW: (trying valiantly to save one shred of dignity) What's your website?

MS: I think the website that will help you the most is actually a blog: www.misssnark.blogspot .com. Check out the recent posts on the industry term "nitwittery".

10 comments:

SAND STORM said...

Note to self...carry extra SASE at all times.:)

Alina said...

Ha! You remind me of my great-aunt. Who, like all of that side of my family, is a doctor. I asked her once if she gets people trying to get medical advice from her without actually coming to the hospital. She told me once this man, an acquaintance, stops her on the street and they chat. Then the man says that he's been having health problems, he thinks its hemorroids, and what does she think about these symptoms? My great-aunt put her grocery bags down and said, "Take off your clothes." "Huh?" "Well, you want me to tell you my opinion, I have to examine you, take off your clothes." The man excused himself and quickly went away.

Justin R. Buchbinder said...

Oh my, Miss Snark.

I do hope this is a phony conversation, lord knows that telling a person the URL of your blog would very much alert them as to the real personality of Miss Snark!

It would be like Clark Kent giving a citizen the address of his favorite phone booth, or Bruce Wayne giving guided tours of the Batcave!

Say it ain't so.

Feisty said...

Perhaps Miss Snark could invite said nitwit to submit a page or two to the Crap-O-Meter when it comes around again.

Or, if the Crap-O-Meter is small enough (say briefcast size), she could whip it out, insert said pages, and out would pop a hilarious but demeaning (honest) analysis of said nitwit's writing.

Sounds Snarkalicious.

Dee said...

Well, I'm sure NW is now all excited, and making out an SASE because he thinks he has a special invitation to send it to you, lol...

People like that are pretty dense. They only hear what they want to hear...

don't we all.

kitty said...

I'll say it for her: It ain't so.

Check how she worded her answer:
MS: I think the website that will help you the most is actually a blog: www.misssnark.blogspot .com. Check out the recent posts on the industry term "nitwittery".

Bernita said...

Justin, she didn't say it was her website. In fact she implied it was not...

Dana Y. T. Lin said...

Miss Snark is my new hero. I hope you don't mind I linked to you. You are too snarky not to share with the world.

FerfeLaBat said...

And you couldn't email your response because ... ?

Koala said...

Perhaps the Crapometer could take the form of one of those little portable barbecues. 'Let's slide your manuscript into the Crapometer and see what comes out...'