Having difficulty querying the effervescent Miss Snark?

Dear Miss Snark,

Since no nitwits have stepped forward to take up the challaenge, I will sacrifice myself to Killer Yapp for the greater good. I already have my Snarkophagus ready.

If, or rather when, we want to query you, how do we send an SASE by e-mail? I tried feeding it into the CD-ROM drive, but that only caused odd noises and tore the envelope. I will keep trying to send this one anyway, since it is one of my favorite envelopes, all covered with pink unicorns. Since I can't seem to get the e-mail to work, do you have a FAX machine I can send it to instead?

A Most Devoted Snarkling and a Soldier in the Ignorant Army Clashing By Night
Upon a Snarkling Plain.

damn, that was my last cup of coffee too.
thank dog for keyboard covers.


Rhonda Stapleton said...

LOLOL - that WAS funny...wish I had envelopes like that - guess I'll have to settle for my Rainbow Brite stationery. Er, stationary. Er, one of those...

kitty said...


December Quinn said...

I you connect the envelope to the ISP cables, it works.

Just like in Weird Science.

E is for Editrix said...

Wow! Not only was that hilarious, but a really nice shout out to Matthew Arnold's "Dover Beach" there at the end. I'm impressed!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

That's too funny...I tried...I never realized that slot was the same size as an enveolpe...ROFLMAO!!!

Now? How to get it back out????

Tina said...

You get the envelope back out ONLY if you mailed it properly in the first place -- in another envelope with your query letter. Miss Snark will read said query and eagerly return said SASE with a contract tucked inside. Maybe a nice note too.

Jeez, am I the only one who pays attention around here?

Still watching the slot . . .

JodyTresidder said...

Actually felt something strange tugging at my mouth. A smile in January...!

bonniers said...

Damn. There goes the screen again.

What I really want to know is how anyone manages to get their brain to function that well in the middle of January?

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark,

I have read a assemblage of material about taking the next step in submitting a manuscript. There is much debate about a writer's choice to submit their novel to either a literary agent or directly to the Publishing House.

I know you are bias (as you should be) that all writers (new author's in particular) should seek the representation of a professional agent. Common sense tells me that the agent has a holding cell of contacts; is
centrally located to the publishing hub; are well versed to the print business. However, there are arguably proactive (and lucrative) reasons why a writer would choose to solicit (by query letter) the publishers direct without literary representation.

My questions are: Should a new author attempt this? Is this
considered tacky or unprofessional or just plain, greedy? Has this been known to work in the author's benefit?

Thank you for your time,

Dave Kuzminski said...

Your January must have more days than mine if you're only in the middle. ;)

In the meantime, Miss Snark responded to my emailed SASE. However, it's difficult to read since it appears that Killer Yapp had the task of delivering it into her computer drive. She stated something about being either impressed or depressed with my writing. Unfortunately, the first two letters were obliterated by a tooth mark. I'm sure it was impressed since she stated later she'd never encountered anyone so seriously demented before. (Must look up that word soon when I get a new dictionary. The other gave its words to support my ransom demand for GC, er, request for payment.)

Anonymous said...

There you guys go, dogging unicorns again. Must be horn envy.


Ken Boy said...

Tina said: "You get the envelope back out ONLY if you mailed it properly in the first place. . ."

Oh, it's just like the Post Office!

Gabriele C. said...

You mean US post offices actually deliver letters? German ones don't.

Elektra said...

I just got out of a job interview with a formal post office employee. Everything they say is true. They actually just leave boxes of stuff in a corner and forget about themuntil months later.
At least now I can tell myself that all those queries without a response were really acceptances--they just never made it here

Anonymous said...

What 'category' of book would this be: a collection of universal truths, maxims, rules of the road, quotes, and practical advice, aimed at a graduate or young adult?
Gift book?
And, are there any agents in particular whom you might suggest I contact?
Thank you.

Dhewco said...

Why do people use the comment area to ask completely off-topic questions to Miss Snark? Why don't they email them?


(Sorry, I know it's contradictory for me to do what I just protested against.)