1.25.2006

Miss Snark envisions "making a profit"

Kitty usually has to bring out her photoshop pix to make me spew, but this morning all she needed was this link to the Seattle Times. about a clever lawyer suiing to recover monetary damages for "lost time" spent reading MLP.


I can see it now:

Ring! Ring!

MS: Snark Agency. You called, you talk.

Caller: I just read your client Felix Buttonweazer's latest book. It was blurbed as "outstanding" and "a page turner" by someone named K. Yapp. This book is awful!
Aliens don't arrive until chapter 14!! I want a refund. AND you better pay me for my lost time.

MS: uh...how much money do you want for your "lost time"?

Caller: I read 100 pages in an hour. I'm a phone sex operator. I get paid $3.00 a minute, $180 an hour. You owe me $180 plus the cost of the book.

MS: What are you wearing?

16 comments:

Kelsey said...

Perfect!

That Girl Who Writes Stuff said...

I’d like my money back from any reviewer who claims a book is “screamingly funny” and did not actually scream when they read it.

You know what . . . forget the money.

The reviewer in question should have to do a little monkey dance for me until I explode with laughter.

Literally.

I must explode laughing.

Kaboom!

Anonymous said...

I have smacked my forehead so many times, I now have a small bruise.

Elektra said...

It says that Doubleday will issue refunds to those who bought the book directly from them. Will they be taking the entire blow, or will Frey have to cough up his royalties for those books?

Jarsto said...

I think the readers got extra value for their money. First they got to read the book, then they got to bitch about having been lied to. Two for the price of one really.

Justin R. Buchbinder said...

180 bucks an hour... but did she just read for one hour? Miss Snark, this could potentially cost you around 500 bucks if she went straight through!!

Anonymous said...

I wonder what George Clooney is wearing?

Lisa Hunter said...

The New Yorker had a great article many years ago about critics. It interviewed a half dozen top critics and asked them about their favorite foods, favorite hobbies, and other tidbits so you could see how similar their OTHER tastes were to yours.

It's time for a revival of this article, don't you think? If a critic hates gin, kicks dogs and thinks GC is overrated as an actor, then you know what his/her opinion is worth.

deborah said...

I wonder how much Miss Snark could charge for HER lost time reading things that rank highly on the crap-o-meter scale...

Authors beware ?

;-)

kitty said...

According to my memoirs, I bought Frey's book and wasted 5 hours trying to read it. Honest.

Lisa Hunter said...

Well, I haven't actually read MLP, but I've probably spent 30 minutes or so seeing headlines about it as I surf the Net...

kitty said...

Lisa, that's worth $90 right there!

Sonarbabe said...

Kitty:

Hell, I want my $90 then! LOL

Miss Snark:

Clever and funny as usual. I read the Seattle article. Wow. Yeah, good luck with that.

Deborah:

Shh! If that be the case then the other agents I queried to about 3 years ago are going to start hitting ME up for money.

Seneca the Younger said...

Marry me?

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

By this reasoning the New York Times owes me a fortune.

I wonder if you could use this reasoning to cancel out library fines?

"You owe 17.50 in fines, young lady."

"Fines? Ha! All these books were a waste of time. You owe me 1750.00 in lost potential wages just for reading them."

"We'll write you a check."

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm a lawyer. And I think that's pretty damn stupid.