1.16.2006

"Miss Snark is not the boss of me!!"

I needed a laugh, boy did I need one.
So of course, one of the Snarklings stepped up to the plate.

I think this might have been in the comments section earlier? or a partial of it?
I don't care if this is the second third or tenth edition published, I laughed and it made me feel better.

Thanks Jen!

22 comments:

Susan said...

Truly a coffe through the nose post. I loved it. Unicorns! Confetti! Oh, boy.

islandwoman said...

Yes...but what kind of fudge? There are so many to choose from!

Susan said...

I meant coffee.

kitty said...

God, just the title ... Miss Snark is not the boss of me ... has me convulsed. It's such a so-there-and-stamp-your-foot statement.

Anonymous said...

Very funny stuff. However, unicorns would not work, as Miss Snark simply cannot be a woman. No literary agent could possibly be sexy enough to manage stilettos, or have edible panties within her reach. A poodle, the swilling of gin, the snark...all red herrings. If such a woman truly existed, she could not remain anonymous in her world. Sadly, I'll bet there's a gay male agent behind the curtain, designing the style and character of this most alluring Miss Snark. And if I'm wrong, I should mention I resemble George Clooney and have scrubs, should she ever need a date for halloween.

M. G. Tarquini said...

Everybody should follow the advice given, especially the part about kitty cats and unicorns.

It leaves the desk clear so the agent can concentrate on my mss.

Nobody said...

Golly thanks! I'm glad it made you smile. I think somebody did something similar in the comments, but it wasn't me, I just ripped it off.

Yasmine Galenorn said...

Ha! Cute...and it's nice to see Miss Snark smile for a change (though I have a feeling she smiles more than she lets on). I try to make my agent laugh at me all the time. (Note I said at...not with...)

Bernita said...

Miss Snark, you need a good chorus from Wizard's First Rule again.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Does anyone know where I can buy stationary with dancing goats?

Jo Bourne said...

Perfume. That's one that was missed.

All query letters should be sprayed with perfume for subtle, subliminal enticement.

Jules Jones said...

I'm so glad that I wasn't drinking a cup of tea...

My all time favourite from Ways To Make Your Submission Memorable was from an anthology editor talking about this at a science fiction con.

Glitter.

Glitter all over the manuscript, and then all over her, her desk, the stack of other submissions on the desk... Yes, she does remember that writer. She remembers that writer very well. This is not a good thing for that writer.

boopsievixon said...

Thanks for the link, Jen! It was most amusing!

I think that he's received so many rejections (or never heard back) from agents and/or editors he's found a clever way to mudsling his anger!

Lilactime said...

But.. everyone does love fudge, don't they? Fudge would probably make me give it a second look.

McKoala said...

Don't you just love it when you open an envelope and confetti or little glitter stars pour out all over your floor and your desk?

Doesn't it just make your day shine that little bit more when you have to go and grab the vacuum before your dog/child/husband tramps the itty bitty colour-leaching pretties all over the house, or worse still, eats them?

Isn't it just great when it makes you late for work/school/having fun somewhere else?

Yes, it always makes my day and I'm sure that it will help sell a manuscript too.

Horace Hamster said...

Not fudge. No way. Not for all those agents, who of course are women, and thus of course are always dieting.

Send sushi instead. Healthy, trendy, and it ensures yours will be the first package the agent opens, particularly in summer.

Miss Snark said...

sushi in the mail.
thanks, I'll stick with glitter.

KillerYapp said...

sushi????
yummi!!!
Send!

I'll be glad to give you my opinion on your novel.
Does it have a poodle in it?

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Bill E. Goat, one of my male goats, is considering writing a novel with a poodle in it. But I think that's only to get Snarky to read it.

He's only in the thinking stage now. He's a bit flighty anyway. Cute wagging tails (of the doe kind, not of the doggie kind) tend to distract him.

Horace Hamster said...

You bet, Killer Yap. In fact, it's a real dog of a novel, or so said the last agent I queried.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

I took the girls down to the river to look for agates and other pretty rocks. Bill E. Goat tagged along. While the girl's tossed rocks into the river and otherwise made loud noises, Bill and I had this conversation.

Bill E.: I was thinking . . .

Me: You actually do that? Errr, umm I mean, about what were you thinking?

Bill E: (Looking slightly peeved) Goat's do think you know.

Me: (Grinning) Yes, about sex, sweet corn, and who can stay on the big rock the longest.. . ..

Bill E: I was thinking about my novel. How's this sound? There are 27 stories in the naked barn yard. This is one of them. . . .

Me: You've been in the old TV video/cd collection again, haven't you?

Bill E: Shush! Let me finish. I'd just finished the night watch out of homicide. My partner was fluffy. She's a poodle. I'm a cop. My names Goat

Me: This sounds a bit familiar too. You sure this is original?

Bill E: Hey, I'm a Goat. Would I make this up?

Me: Apparently you didn't.

Bill E: I was headed for the strip, Sunset Strip to be exact. I was looking for a man named Gunn. Fluffy perked her ears. She's strange that way. She hears things no one else seems to hear. "What is it Fluff?" I whispered. "We gotta take a detour. Take me by Pier 6 fast." "Why?" I asked. I never doubt Miss Fluffy. She's almost always right. Great sense of smell too. "Red fire hydrant," she mumbled. . . . .So, how do you like it so far?

Me: Very original. I'm sure Miss Snark will use it. I wonder if Killer Yap is trained to paper at all?

Bonnie Calhoun said...

I don't know...the fudge sounds like a good idea. And if the "package" contained dog treats, Killer Yapp would ferret out that submission like a pointer!