1.04.2006

w2 4 u?

You're the funniest thing Ive read in yonks! Those bits from ms were hysterical and Ive posted them to another writer I know, you've made my day. Do you have a day job??

golly.
let me check.

Would you like to guess whether I do and what it might be?

Don't cheat by looking at the title of the blog,
or the topic either. That certainly wouldn't be fair now would it?

Actually my job appears to be bonking people with clue sticks.
Step right up, it's your turn.



12 comments:

AzGhostWriter said...

Actually my job appears to be bonking people with clue sticks.

Wouldn't glue sticks be more fun?

Bonnie Calhoun said...

I can't believe someone would be that...nevermind! Well...at least you didn't call them a Nitwit, Miss Snark!

Anonymous said...

You'd probably make more of an impression with a cue stick. . . .

Rachael

Brian said...

There's a Mr. Dante on line one for you, Miss Snark. Wants to discuss your requistion for a 10th roundel of Hell, specifically for the dull and maladroit. Should I put him through?

Jess B. said...

I can imagine editors all over the industry receiving completed manuscripts just like it in their slush piles and just staring horrified at the first lines:

"OMG! The nite was st0rmey and not lited up. W00T! It wuz a l337 semi-auto blastin the made who clense yeled SuXor!"*

As a fiction writer (I'm not soliciting; I swear!), I am awed at what people pass off as English; I'm equally horrified when people admit, "Oh, yeah. I don't read."

I am almost afraid to ask how many times literary agents have seen first lines of unsolicited manuscripts that look just like that email you received and are disgusted that a tree had to die to serve a purpose so miserable.

One would think that a person writing to a "Literary Agent" -- being literate, I felt the title bar seemed the logical place to start reading -- would make an effort to edit the comment as carefully as possible.

You were too gentle on your gentle reader. Three words for your fanboy/fangirl: Strunk and White.

* Apologies to Bulwer-Lytton . . . though for what, I'm not sure.

Problem Child said...

I get emails from students like that one all the time. I want to send it back with the notation "I'm your ENGLISH teacher, for the love of God. Let's see some proper punctuation and capital letters!"

And they wonder why they fail my class...

Elektra said...

What's enen worse, jess b., is when people say "oh yeah, I don't read", and are obviously very proud of the fact.

Anonymous said...

how would we get you a synopsis to bash?

E. Ann Bardawill said...

Whoa!
New word!

Jocluelarity!

R.J. Baker said...

Hat's off to you. Anyone that can wade through and publically comment on that many synopses deserves a ... well, beer and a shot.

Kelly G said...

I guess "bonking" doesn't mean the same thing in the US as it does in the UK - and here in the South Pacific, where it could drive you bonkers.

Ray Rhamey, Flogging the Quill said...

Many thanks for the laugh re "clue sticks." Excellent.

Best,

Ray