Dear Miss Snark,
I'm a multi-published author looking for an agent for the first time. I queried an agent at a prestigious company, who got back to me in record time (two days) to tell me she didn't handle my genre, but that she had handed my material over to another agent at the agency who would be contacting me.
Agent 2 contacted me in a few days, very cordial, had her assistant send me a paper to sign giving permission etc. We had a couple email exchanges during that time...then nothing.
It's been eleven months. Every three or four months I send a polite email query inquiring about her timeline and get no response. Sometimes I alternate that by querying her assistant...and get no response. (Except for once when I was told how busy the agent was.)
Seriously...wtf??? Does she have any intention of ever reading this thing or am I fool for not considering that door completely closed? Is this a ploy to get me to go away and I'm just too dense to see it?
U send Q
A says "not I, but B"
B says "I'll read it, sign X".
Do you see anything here that marks YOU as the fool?
Ya, me either.
In all seriousness, why would you want to work with someone who treats you like you don't matter?
Fuck that noise.
Get an agent who treats you with respect.
You wouldn't tolerate this kind of behaviour in any other kind of professional relationship, why would you even consider doing so here.
Get off your ass, tell this agent she's a nitwit, and find a new one. And if you need assistance, just forward this blog posting to her and say "this is about you".