Dear Miss Snark,
My husband dared me to put "query" in the subject line and refer to you as Ms. Snark, but I resisted. (excellent choice!)
I am indescribably fond of your blog, and want to thank you for providing such a uniquely helpful service. I learned more from it in a few sittings than I did in a semester at the feet (or at the end of one of those ubiquitous oblong workshop tables, at any rate) of the critically acclaimed author who taught my undergraduate fiction writing class. "Bloodless, self-absorbed crap" was the phrase for it indeed, although "hopeless mediocrity" is a better match for the teacher.
I know it's only been two months or so since the last one (regrettably, before I stumbled upon the blog), but are you planning to run the Crap-O-Meter again any time soon? I'd like to submit to it, of course, but watching and learning are nearly as good.
Your obedient servant,
Oh! I like that obedient servant thing!!! Does this involve warm towels, Mallomars and private screenings of Mr. Clooney's movies?? Sign me up!
I'm very sorry to report the Crapometer was deported to Paris, France. Something about undesirable alien, or maybe it was just undesirable influence, or maybe it was alienation of affection. Those legal papers had such a small font it was hard to tell. Dick Wolf has optioned the rights so I'm sure the true story will be revealed soon enough.
The State Department is working night and day to resolve the matter, given the clamor of Snarklings, but someone may have to step up and pay for a peace bond before Law Enforcement is assuaged.
I'm pretty sure this won't be resolved till Summer. Meanwhile, keep writing.