Dear Miss S,Herewith some of my least favorite responses to "Hello, Snark here, wanna go to the dance with me on Saturday night?".
I posted these questions on Writers Net a couple of days ago and Ann Crispin referred me to your blog. Ann said she would love to hear your response.
What might turn an agent off if and when he/she makes THE phone call to ask to represent a writer?
2 It's about time. What took you so long?
3. Ok, let me get back to you. Six other agents are reading this and I want to pick the best of you.
4. Well, ok, I guess. I have a list of questions for you. Have you ever sold anything like mine?
5. Did your really like it, no I mean really? What did you like best? Are you sure? Do you think "thwap" is really a verb? Maybe I should change chapter three before you send it to anyone.
6. Ok, let's set up a regular schedule for you to keep me informed on what you're doing for me. And fax a copy of the offer to my lawyer and accountant. They'll be in touch with changes.
7. I'm leaving the country for six months, but don't worry, we have satellite phones in Antarctica.
8. This is great, just great. My mom and I will be in New York next week to meet you. What day is good for lunch?
9 Well, I'm just not sure if I'm really ready to have editors see this. I'm still working on it. I'll get back to you.
10. Oh! I signed with Kristin Nelson three weeks ago, and she sold my book. You didn't see it on Publishers Lunch? Sorry.