"Paddy! Drop everything and give me ten books."

Paddy popped a greenback into his hand. "What's this for?"

"Oi found a cheap terrapist."

"You need a little terrapin'?"

"Yep. Me 'ead's in a bit of a muddle."

"Why's t'at Mick?"

"Oi found out me mother's a stripper."

"T'at little will of the wisp? But your mother wears Army boots."

"Yeah, she's got bunions!"

"Guess you'd 'ave to if you got bunions. Where she workin'?"

"It's a gay bar called Bat Segundo. They worked the boots into the act. She strips to Macho Macho Man."

"A gay bar you say. But she can't need the money."

He shrugged. Gulped the last of his double Cutty Snark. "She has pompoms on her tits. Bounces'm around like a pair of promenading poodles. She's got all the instincts of a galleycat."

Paddy shook his head. "Guess there's nuttin' like the roar of the greasepaint, smell of the crowd."

"I guess it's 'cos they're all stoned on Blarney."

They sighed. "Well I gotta go , Mick. I got a field of four leaf clover to harvest. Good luck with t'terrapist."

"T'anks Paddy."

Miss Snark consults her trusty NFT for the location of Bat Segundo, gay bar.
This is a night for promenading poodle tassle twirling if ever there was one!

Scores to come.


Sal said...

From now on the phrase "promenading poodles" will conjure up a far different mental image than it would have just a few short minutes ago ...

Anonymous said...

-28 for snark and greasepaint. Negative bonus points for 'avin a lad yap about his mum's tits.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed, this, cheers to the writer!

My mum is a saint though- no seriously, she's up for a good Bronx church to be named after her!

I'm from the Bronx and the folks are from Eire, so I can say that. But cheers to the writer, I enjoyed this one a lot. Thanks!