Lilly had finally unpacked everything and her new office looked just right. She still wasn't comfortable, however; the head of the English department was downright scary. Bat Segundo was her name. She was a thick, blunt woman with a deep voice and a strong stance. Years in the military had made her tough. I mean, really, who has a dead terrapin on their shelf for decoration? And what kind of woman kept a dip of chewing tobacco behind her lip?

She hadn't gotten off on the right foot with the old Bat. Perhaps it was her skirt or her dainty ways, but her boss probably thought she spent her time trying on perfume and promenading her poodles around town. Bat was the opposite of prissy, and seemed to detest anyone that didn't wear long pants or drink whiskey. During Lilly's interview Bat had tried to intimidate her: "Drop everything and give me ten ... books!" then laughed until her heavy smoker's cough set in. Maybe Lilly would never understand her military English department sense of humor.

Just then the woman thudded past her door. Lilly rolled her eyes. "I bet even your mother wears Army boots," she snarked to herself. She shuddered at the thought of the bunions the Segundo family must have.

Lilly let out a deep sigh and grabbed her bags, preparing herself to teach her very first class. She hoped the rest of the university would be easier to handle than her boss. The cool breeze was a slap in the face as she ascended upon the new world she had entered. She joined the muddled group of people, surrounded by the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd. She noticed the early morning light opening up over the distant edge of the nearby pond; it all seemed rather emblematic. The "will of the wisps" light, the faceless crowd, the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Lilly suddenly felt very small. She had waited her whole life for this moment, but so far her hopes had been misleading.

the old bat...oh god, will Edward Champion EVER speak to me again?

Scoring to come


JLB said...

The MaƮtre d'Anglais sounds eerily familiar, cough and all!

Feisty said...

These are great. And very entertaining. I need a laugh first thing in the morning so keep 'em coming.

Anonymous said...

minus 8 points for the missing galleycat, and the 'her' injected into 'promenading poodles' looks at risk for another -20.

Please, Miss Snark, may we have some more?

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Tentative score: 70 -- I couldn't find "galleycat." I'm probably just too tired to be tallying these points any more! And I would definitely add five for "funny."