Once upon a time there was a frog named Will of the Wisp, who loved to wear ladies shoes.

Every day he would muddle through the streets of Galleycat, where promenading poodles took their daily constitution right there on the sidewalks. This took a terrible toll on Will's lovely shoe collection. But he refused to wear anything else.

There was a large theatrical makeup plant in town that mixed daily batches of eyeshadow in great tumblers, which set forth a constant roar. And the residents of Galleycat loved to eat raw onion sandwiches on kaiser rolls, which those in the know called a bunion. Will hated the roar of the greasepaint, smell of the crowd. Oh, how he wished he could leave this foul town and his thankless job at the bookstore, Snark Mart. Harried literary agents, tired of reading drivel, would run out of their caves on their lunch breaks, bat segundo and poodle poo on their shoes, and yell at him, "Drop everything and give me ten...books!"

One evening, after throwing away another pair of ruined ladies shoes, Will said to his father, "This town has no sympathy for my shoes!"

His father, a dandy frog who wore a fetching hat made from the shell of a terrapin, tried to console him. "Nothing you can do about it, son. No one wears good shoes in town. Why do you think your mother wears army boots?"

That's when Will decided that everyone should be able to wear lovely shoes. He spent months inventing a knickknack that magically covered shoes, repelling poo! He needed funding, so he went to the bank where they gladly gave him the money. It turned out that the residents of Galleycat all loved ladies shoes, but never wore them for fear of ruining them. Will became rich and famous and moved to the quieter, less smelly suburbs.

The moral to this story is, of course, that with a knickknack Galleycat will give a frog a loan.

Miss Snark is in total complete fucking awe.
Scoring irrelevant.


Anonymous said...

You and me both, Miss Snark. You and me both. *standing ovation*

Anonymous said...

"Ms. Wack," said the bank manager, "What is all the fuss about?"

So, Patty, the bank teller, pointed to the frog. She pointed to the expensive Ming vase. "This is his, sir. He wants to use it as collatoral."

The bank manager examined the vase, put it on the counter and said to the teller, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan."

The punch line for this one is still funny, but it was written long ago.

Patrice Michelle said...

With a knickknack Galleycat will give a frog a loan.


ROAR!!! The applause shakes the stands.

Miss Snark said...

One of the TRUE tests of a great writer is using material that's been seen before and adapting it and making it fresh. My comment, and opinion, stands.
This is damn good.

McKoala said...


jan said...

Wow. Puns! My Favorite! And I don't CARE if the punchline is recycled. God Bless Will and his shoe covers.

JLB said...

That definitely deserves the creativity points! Great fun!!!

LJCohen said...

I bow to you, oh writer of this piece. Bravo!


Nightfahl said...

LOL great!

ps. do these work for goose poo too? Parks int eh suburbs are piled high with the stuff.

Anonymous said...

Adorable! This one joins the Top 5, perhaps even the Top 2! It's amazing what's shaken out of writers' heads for this little exercise.

Eika said...

WHoah. This one stands on top so far.

Carter said...

We're not worthy!

Definitely #1 so far.

Miss Audrey said...

That was a wonderful read!

Andrea Blythe said...