Once upon a time there was a frog named Will of the Wisp, who loved to wear ladies shoes.
Every day he would muddle through the streets of Galleycat, where promenading poodles took their daily constitution right there on the sidewalks. This took a terrible toll on Will's lovely shoe collection. But he refused to wear anything else.
There was a large theatrical makeup plant in town that mixed daily batches of eyeshadow in great tumblers, which set forth a constant roar. And the residents of Galleycat loved to eat raw onion sandwiches on kaiser rolls, which those in the know called a bunion. Will hated the roar of the greasepaint, smell of the crowd. Oh, how he wished he could leave this foul town and his thankless job at the bookstore, Snark Mart. Harried literary agents, tired of reading drivel, would run out of their caves on their lunch breaks, bat segundo and poodle poo on their shoes, and yell at him, "Drop everything and give me ten...books!"
One evening, after throwing away another pair of ruined ladies shoes, Will said to his father, "This town has no sympathy for my shoes!"
His father, a dandy frog who wore a fetching hat made from the shell of a terrapin, tried to console him. "Nothing you can do about it, son. No one wears good shoes in town. Why do you think your mother wears army boots?"
That's when Will decided that everyone should be able to wear lovely shoes. He spent months inventing a knickknack that magically covered shoes, repelling poo! He needed funding, so he went to the bank where they gladly gave him the money. It turned out that the residents of Galleycat all loved ladies shoes, but never wore them for fear of ruining them. Will became rich and famous and moved to the quieter, less smelly suburbs.
The moral to this story is, of course, that with a knickknack Galleycat will give a frog a loan.
Miss Snark is in total complete fucking awe.