I once had a Bunion named Onion!
It appeared out of the blue one day, when I was out parading a promenade of poodles, to the roar of the greasepaint, smell of the crowd!
"Bat Secundo!" I cried, as I looked down at the offending bunion presenting itself on top of my toe, bursting through the ceiling of the army boots worn by my mother! I could almost hear her voice echoing up at me as I gazed down at the bunion, shaped like a terrapin.
"Liz, drop everything and give me ten...books!"
Shocked by the memories of the commanding voice, I muddled through the crowd, irked like a snark!
Directing my escalating rage at the painful bunion, I cried,
"I am not some will of the wisp, nor am I some galleycat you can just disfigure at your pleasure! "
In fury, I hobbled down the street, pulling my beloved poodles behind me, the bunion glowing eerily in the fading daylight as if in mockery.
I came to a sudden halt, and stared down the bunion, invoking curses for the generations of bunions that were yet to be born, and I cried in anquish,
"As God is my witness, I shall overcome your slings and arrows, O bunion, and I shall curse you with a thousand bleeding onions, whose deathly pungent, grieving odor, shall smite you down henceforth, and you shall forever be named "Onion"!
AND MAY GOD HAVE MERCY UPON YOUR SOUL!!!!!
uh, ok, sure. nooooo problemo.
Scoring to come