Dear Ms. Roth,
Thank you for your query letter. I have decided to overlook the fact that you did not post your e-query to the designated address of firstname.lastname@example.org. Your story of necrophilia and bestiality sounds horrifyingly at odds with Christian, Jewish, and every other type of mainstream religious belief. I would also say that you have expanded the genre of paranormal romance--expanded it to new lows, that is. I sincerely hope that the only reason Father Greeley heard anything about this book is that you went to confession after writing it.
Please send me the original and every other copy of the work that you have. I will hire an illiterate person to set fire to all the copies. The ashes will be sent to Grandmother Snark's farm for use as fertilizer. On behalf of all humanity, I must ask you to never set pen to paper again. Failure to comply with this request may result in the dispatch of a fierce (yet impeccably well-dressed) poodle to your address, which you have so helpfully supplied me with.