Be Miss Snark...final entry

Ms. Roth,

Miss Snark is just thrilled with your wonderful proposal! Upon reading it, she exclaimed, "Just when you think you've heard everything!" and fainted dead away. Your unique vision has truly captured her attention! She cannot wait to begin pitching to studio executives; I believe her exact words were, "I would love to see their faces if I brought them this."

Please excuse any smudges on this letter, as my paws are a bit unseemly at the moment. While swooning, Miss Snark unfortunately knocked over one of her Ming dynasty vases. The paramedics say she'll be fine, and that head wounds usually look bloodier than they really are.

Our people will call your people to set up lunch once Miss Snark has been released from the hospital, which should be in a week or two. On a more personal note, do you know if the fine people at Treble Heart Books have ever offered a contract to a poodle? I have a few stories of my own to tell.

-Killer Yapp


McKoala said...

KY comes out of the closet as the puppet master behind Miss Snark! Love it!

archer said...

Oh, yes, and Charlotte's Web.

Miss Snark: This is unreasonable.

I. Myte said...

Um, the newbie asks, "Did my comments come through?"

BuffySquirrel said...

Hmm, what happened to mine? Did I send it to the nitwit addy by mistake?

Les said...

Ugh. Enough. I think she's stopped moving now.

Deb said...

I'm still a bit mystified as to why Miss S & KY have chosen to diss a particular author, and a particular publisher, by name. Doesn't seem sporting.


Christopher said...

I wonder if the entire email -- especially the part about audience reactions to readings -- was a joke. Or, as someone mentioned, a ploy to get publicity.

If it was a joke, the laugh's on the blog. If it was a ploy, did it backfire or did it work?

Shanon said...

deb: have you read all of the recent entries? Miss Snark addresses this herself. The author sent her an e-query. She even knew that Miss Snark would be posting it. Sounds like she's had this coming to her...

Pepper Smith said...

Oh, the book's for real. It's listed almost perpetually somewhere above mine at Fictionwise, so I see the name and cover frequently.

Perhaps the author though that including audience reactions would interest an agent? Perhaps if Miss Snark had been a screenplay agent it might have.

I really feel for her. No one likes being drawn and quartered for public entertainment. Would I have done what she did by querying Miss Snark? I might ask for advice on things, but I also read, and the website clearly says not to query Miss Snark.

Elektra said...

Just to ease a few consciences...
the author probably hasn't even seen this. She's obviously not a regular reader of the blog, and she seems to me the type who would shotgun queries and hope for the best, instead of really following up on them.

Christopher said...

Pepper Smith:

I didn't question whether the book was real. My question only concerned the email and the fact that the author knew hundreds (thousands) of people would read it.

Elektra said...

Though, might I add, I'm among those who feel no remorse for posting about the letter...

Sarah said...

I agree with Elektra-- if it was a regular reader, she would know better. How could you not? That email broke not one, but three rules Miss Snark rants about all the time.

Rei said...

I agree. Yes, the responses were harsh. But yes, she had it coming to her by breaking Miss Snark's rules and violating her teachings to boot.

Mikosama said...

Whether she had it coming or not, it's too bad that no one submitted a serious rejection letter. We all complain about the form letter, but what would we really want to see in a "thanks-but-no-thanks" letter? (Aside from endless help and compliments, which isn't reasonable.) Seriously, people, if you had to get the brush off, how would you want it?

Salza Sal said...

I'm amazed there's been such an extensive debate about this and that some of the Devotion are coming over all hearts and flowers. If you sign up to be on Pop Idol (over here) or American Idol (over there) you can be pretty certain you're going to be savaged by Simon Cowell at some point (no, I can't like the man, even if I am a Brit). That's all part of the show. If you go on The Weakest Link you know you'll be mauled by Anne Robinson. I can't believe the people who go on these shows don't watch them beforehand and know exactly what they're all about. The same applies to this blog. If you do your research (and that means, 'au minumum', reading Miss Snark's sidebar) you know what you can and can't do here and what to expect. I don't think the Snarklings were cruel - as someone else said, they were using humour, often caustic, to show they understood where Ms Roth had gone wrong.
All power to this lady's elbow that she's got herself published - that's more than many of the Snarklings have achieved (including me). However, the woman was incredibly silly to send that e-mail and she opened herself up to ridicule. If you're offended by the content, stop reading. We all have a right to an opinion - surely people who are serious about getting published must realise they can't be over-sensitive.

Deb said...

Shannon, I did indeed read the whole smash. That's why I posted the question.

THB books are quite real. I have half a bookshelf of them here at Casa Chaos (let's see, they're here somewhere, right?). The titles I own run the gamut on quality, from "oh, okay" to "terrific." THB is no different than most other publishers in this regard. I won't comment on Ms Roth's book 'cause I haven't read it.

I just think it's a shame to take an e-query, which all of us Snarklings know is a nicht-no, and extrapolate some sort of quality judgment to the entire publisher. The topic's now been hammered, IMO, and I've no more to say about it.


Cheryl Mills said...

I know what happened! This poor woman used one of those query-sending services, and Miss Snark was recently listed as a literary and film agent.

That has to be it. Please?

And for the record, I don't feel bad, because my entry had a huge typo. I'm shocked by the number of people offended.

I just looked up "Snark" in my big-ass dictionary, and it says, "A fabulous animal, orig. the subject of a nonsense poem." Query that!

And I smell another new contest.

rabs said...


Surely you must know Lewis Carrol's poem "The Hunting of the Snark." I don't know if my html tags will work here, so I'll post the link in plain text:

My favorite part has always been the end:

"They hunted till darkness came on, but they found
Not a button, or feather, or mark,
By which they could tell that they stood on the ground
Where the Baker had met with the Snark.

In the midst of the word he was trying to say,
In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He had softly and suddenly vanished away -- -
For the Snark was a Boojum, you see."

I've always assumed that the name "Miss Snark" brilliant for its double meaning -- both for 'snarky' as well as this idea of a creature which could not be discovered by even the most resourceful searchers (referring, of course, to Miss Snarky anonymity).