4.07.2006

Contest!

Miss Snark is recovering from the complete novel she read this week: 111 entries x 500 words!

The One Great Scorer is in hiding, drooling, muttering "kill the snark, kill the snark", somewhere Out There.


We were pretty tough on the scoring part. If you had bunions instead of bunion-no dice. Same for will o' the wisp instead of will of the wisp. Capitalized Snark did count for snark, but galley cat didn't count for galleycat.

Like I said...harsh, mean and clearly Out To Get You. But then...where's the fun in being nice??


Results to come this weekend.

30 comments:

kitty said...

When's your next contest?

Sam said...

Thank you so much for holding the contest - I'm amazed at the quality of the entries and also amazed by YOU, Miss Snark, for taking this on with such unflappable grace.

Next contest will be Yap haiku, I'm sure, and limited to the first twelve submissions. Cheers!
:-)

Delilah said...

Robin to Batman (and Miss Snark):

Holy priceless collection of Etruscan Snoods!

lucy said...

Well done. I'm totally impressed that you worked your way through this in less than a week! Thanks for providing us with so much FUN.

Miss Snark said...

:::aims water balloon in Kitty's direction:::




verification word: (I swear) ruufo

Anonymous said...

HEY! What happened to Entry #77? Is Miss Snark saving that nasty little morsel for her eyes only? Or did richer-than-the-queen-of-england jkrowling offer to kick Miss Snark's ass?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, since my entry is swinging out there undelivered in cyberspace just like Bat Segundo on his trapeze, I'm anxious for the next one. I figure I'll keep the original story and just substitute the new words...devious, no?

Anonymous said...

Due to time zone differences I didn't get the opportunity to enter, but kudos to you for running the contest and appreciation by proxy for all the effort it must have taken to go through all the entries. It was a lot of fun reading them, but I wouldn't want to be the one to try and pick a winner!
-ril

Miss Snark said...

77 is up there. I'm going to add you to the kick ass water balloon list for making me go check.

Ok, it might not be exactly after 76 and before 78 but yanno(tm)....it's there!!

Anonymous said...

New Contest! No rules! No prizes! No word count! This is called: Signs That Miss Snark Has Lost Her Effing Mind.

To get us started:

1) In famous interview, Miss Snark advises writers to "stay off the internet." Miss Snark immediately has writing contest online.

2) Miss Snark offers prize in contest.

3) Miss Snark thinks she'll get maybe 10 entries.

4) Miss Snark gets 110 entries. Miss Snark has weird numbering system, unused in other parts of the world.

5) Miss Snark apparently reads all of them.

5A) IN ONE WEEK!

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark, you should get ten or twelve extra pails of gin for your service in this endeavor. I tried to work on the scoring for a bit, but my puny math skills punked out after 30 stories or so. If the One Great Scorer ever shows up, then He/She should get extra pails of gin, too.

JLB said...

Three cheers for Miss Snark and The One Great Scorer. I am thoroughly impressed by your fortitude!

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark,
Two words: Medication adjustment.

Elektra said...

Will-o'-the-wisp doesn't count?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Anonymous said...

snarkicide: death by over-reading

Anonymous said...

Asks a possible nitwit, on background: What is the Snarkiology of mocking the 2nd person POV? Can we attribute that to Lorrie Moore? The self-help category? I remember some chicklit writer in the early nineties who had a small hit with another short-fic in that voice, too. I think she was some sort of western, cowgirl type. Does the slushpile gravitate to this as some sort of immitative homage?
-hates to be out of the loop

S. W. Vaughn said...

To anonymous contest starter:

Miss Snark is not a writer. She advises writers to unplug their misfiring synapses from the wonders of the Internet and warm up their word processing programs.

Agents may browse, contest, and otherwise inspire writers to make use of said word processing programs to their heart's content.

Do not mock the Snark. :-)

Anonymous said...

That's NO FAIR about bunions! "Bunion" is included in bunions. Had the word been "bunions" and someone said just one bunion, then THAT would have been no dice. And it brings the score way down, cause now s/he didn't use all the words! Aw, Miss Snark.

Anonymous said...

Anal Rule Follower says...

Har har har!

My time has come!

Are you going to lambast those who added the extra 'the' before 'smell of the crowd' too?

I have died and gone to Rule Follower heaven.

Miss Snark, if I did not suspect you are actually a portly gentleman, and KY a bulldog named Hector, I would suggest that you and I have much in common.

Anonymous said...

I happen to know - for a fact - that secretly, Miss Snark has a heart of gold. But I'm not going to say anything for fear her snarklings will start misbehaving if they find out she's actually a really, really nice human being.

McKoala said...

Don't forget Miss Snark's discretionary 27 points...

Thanks Miss Snark, have loved this.

LOL Kitty. You're so brave.

Anonymous said...

This was fun -- and good for you for being tough on the rules, even though it puts me out of the running ;) As a former teacher, I should have known better...plus, it'll make the winner(s) that much more apparent. Three yips for Miss Snark!

Sal said...

Three yips for Miss Snark!

... and one Yippee yi-o ki-a, Galloping all the way!!!

When Miss Snark said she'd be posting ten a day (and there were over 100 to post), I thought this could carry on forever. But no. 112 entries (minus Godot = 111) posted in five days. Amazing. Thank you, Miss Snark.

That's NO FAIR about bunions!

Say. Have you seen this?

the green ray said...

In grade school, our favorite teachers seemed very mean (at first) on the surface. Miss Oysten was 2nd Grade and Miss Zelinsky was 7th. Their barks were much stronger than their bites. And we really loved these teachers. Isn't this like being in school again, with Miss Snark as our teacher? It's obvious that she's got a heart of gold.

girija said...

I couldn't have done this. It shows that you are following your true calling or something! I am really amazed at your endurance. Your writers are fortunate :)

LisaS said...

Although my story will, alas, be adversely affected by strict scoring, this was a great opportunity to flex the writing muscles. And I was suprised and thrilled to receive the confirmation email--you really added to your workload by doing it. If I ever need an agent, you're first on my list to contact . . . whoever you are!

California Jackson said...

Do hope OGS isn't the same person who wrote #38.

Jeff Stehman said...

Many thanks for the contest and seeing it through. This was fun.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark has a heart of gold??? Say it isn't so.

Anonymous said...

anonymous said: I happen to know - for a fact - that secretly, Miss Snark has a heart of gold.

Grammy Snark! Are they letting you online again?