Miss Snark's 2nd Writing Competition Awards

Little did I dream that this would suck up a week of time and the attention of three formerly sane people. Four if you count Killer Yapp but he doesn't like to be demoted from poodle to person.

It was amazing to see what y'all generated with a short amount of time and a lot of imagination. There was no way to award prizes based solely on numerical scores, so those prizes (the Snarkling Choice Awards) are separate. Herewith Miss Snark's Selections:

Two special awards were called for:

Best new category: Snark Noir (8)

Best subtle joke: A Thousand Monkeys (18)

Honorable mentions go to:

Fashion Show (44)
Flying (9)
Good News (31)
Incident on 43rd Street (38)
Lady Killer (10)
Las Vegas (27)
Librarian Drill Instructor (83)
Manny (56)
Nancy Pearl Action Figure (72)
The Curse of the Terrapin (58)
Torch Song (33)
Writers Conference (47)

Cat Burglar (71)
Lady Eugenia Bunion Snark (62)
Literary Boot Camp (21)
Try Out Hitters (41)
Will of the Wisp (52)

The winner of Miss Snark's 2nd Writing Madness is:
#12 G-Query (and yes this one gets a prize!)


Cheryl Mills said...

Yeah! My favorite won.

Bat Segundo isn't really suing you, is he?

Anonymous said...

I'm floored that not one of my choices (#55 for Best of the Best or #24 for DQ) got any mention at all (they weren't mine as I didn't make the final cut). Am I that different from everyone else? Did either of these get any votes besides mine?

Your anonymous oddball.

Sam said...

Very clever and fun entry!
And bravo for the runners up - great job everyone!

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Many thanks for organising this contest. I had lots of fun and was very glad to be a finalist.


Jan Conwell said...

Congrats! Very well done!

Stephen said...

I am surprised, honoured, thrilled and very happy.

The prize is not important - it was a great chance to have fun and to see other people having fun.

I remain in awe of Miss Snark's professionalism in seeing through this crazy idea to completion so quickly, despite the enormous number of entries and the complexities of the scoring system.

I also remain deeply impressed by the camaraderie of the massed hordes of snarklings, who even when in fierce competition with each other remain both funny and human.

And of course I remain amazed that Killer Yapp can carry off a pink tam with such style.

And if there is a next time, good luck to everybody, but especially to Miss Snark.

I remain your delighted winner,


JLB said...

Congrats #12 - you had my vote!

Still, I don't know if I could ever possibly have a true favorite... my ongoing list of top choices includes over 15 entries, and I haven't even finished reading everyone's work yet!

Once again, enormous thanks to Miss Snark for all her hard work! This contest was loads of fun (and loads of work, I'm sure), and I really enjoyed reading all the different entries.

Congrats everyone!!!

Sal said...

I'm floored that not one of my choices (#55 for Best of the Best or #24 for DQ) got any mention at all

A thank you from #55.

I was mentioned in the comments! Yay! for me!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Stephen!!!

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Stephen! Job well done!

Elektra said...

Congrats, #12!

It seems I am a fan of most everything you write :)

Anonymous said...

All I can say is WOOOO HOOOO! It was so much fun to try to put together an entry that adhered to the scoring points. (And I failed at that, but dang, I still had fun trying to work in those ridiculous phrases.) Then it was so mindbogglingly fabulous when readers actually posted comments after the story.

(Confession: I printed out all six nice comments and taped them to the wall behind my computer desk.)

To the writer of G-Query: You are amazing. That story was too fabulous. It keeps me awake at night. How nice it must be to have your brain!

To all the entrants: You were all wonderful! I'm so glad I was at work during the voting, because I don't know if I could have picked just one favorite.

To Miss Snark and her fellow scorekeepers & judges: If I could hijack a truck of gin, I swear I would drive it directly to NYC. I might also bake you an apricot nectar cake. No, the two don't go together, but then, if you drink enough gin, you won't notice, and if you eat enough cake, you won't have room for gin.

Thank you!


Anonymous said...

#52 was my favorite of all, but what happened to the gay cagefighter? (#29) That was brilliant.

Feisty said...

Woo hoo! Great entries. Lots of fun stuff. Let's do this again next week!

Miss Snark said...

:::;fixes Feisty with 1000 yard stare::::
Flips open cell phone.
Dials Jack Reacher.

more next week.

#62 said...

WOW! I love being a finalist in Miss Snark's 2nd Writing Competition Awards! In addition to being one of the Snarkling favorites in the Disqualifieds!

Thank you to Miss Snark for this contest that added some fun to my week.

Anonymous said...

I am absolutely dying to know what the prize is. Aren't you?

Miss Snark said...

well, of course it was an offer for representation.
what else could it possibly be?

(ok, it's not nice to torment you like that. It's really a book)

kitty said...

Congrats to #12! Well deserved!

And thank you, Miss Snark, for another great contest.

What's the book?

LJCohen said...

Whoo hooo! An HM from Miss Snark! :) Thank you--you've just made my day.

And thank you for your wonderful blog and your fortitude. Hope you take some well deserved R & R.

Your devoted snarkling.

Lady M said...


That was not nice.

Do you have ANY idea how many chins hit the floor with that response?

Girl - you just caused some serious heart attacks out here in Snark-o-ville.


Ps. Thanks for the contest. People love contests.

Patrice Michelle said...

(ok, it's not nice to torment you like that. It's really a book)

Miss Snark says SIIIIKE! heh

It was great fun to read through the entries and be amazed at the talent.

#9 said...

Congratulations Stephen, great entry! A well-earned victory.

And thanks Miss Snark for doing this in the first place. Totally amazed by your hard work or utter craziness, depending on how you look at it. Thank you for an honourable mention, I'm feeling the bees knees today, but preferably without the hairy bits, because that's not stylish unless you are a bee. Or a poodle.

It's been fun...see you next time (if there ever is a next time...)


Thank you for all the kind comments too - great idea anonymous, my wall looks a bit empty...

McKoala said...

I'm surprised that there are so few messages of congratulation here - I hope that it's not down to lack of generosity but down to Miss Snark taking a blogging break after the ravages of competition.

Well done Stephen, fantastic entry!

Lady M said...

I do apologize!!!

You know - I thought I did Congratulate Stephen... I read back and saw that I never posted
it... I must have just thought it.

*Sigh* one of the hazards of being a writer - we live in our minds some days. LOL!

Congrats dude!!! And what an AWESOME entry!

I apologize for the lateness of my humble congrats!

Thanks MC for kicking me.

Lady M

M. G. Tarquini said...

Oops. Well put, McKoala. I congratulated Stephen on his blog. I agree that this thread is a little light on congrats.

Congrats to everybody. This was a fun contest and the entries were all pretty damned good. Kudos to Miss Snark and the One Great Scorer and Killer Yapp and the mysterious Other Person for all the time put in.

Anybody who didn't get to vote because they lived on the other side of the world...

Let this be a lesson to Snarklings everywhere that they should never sleep, that they should always be at the ready, keyboards poised because one never knows when opportunity will strike, and possibly maim.

Perhaps a loud, obnoxious alarm somewhere in the programming that lets you know everytime Miss Snark has posted?

Hmmm...could be money in something like that.

inkwolf said...

McKoala said...
"I'm surprised that there are so few messages of congratulation here - I hope that it's not down to lack of generosity but down to Miss Snark taking a blogging break after the ravages of competition."

I think it's more down to everyone coming down off the adrenaline and trying to recover.

Congrats to all the winners! Good work!

elmridge said...

We are all winners for having been part of the fun, but a special congratulations to Stephen and all the others to get recognized. Great job by all.

S. W. Vaughn said...

Congratulations, Stephen and other various winners and honorable mentions and otherwise runners-up of Miss Snark's Fab-u-loso Contest! Y'all are some extraordinarily creative people.

In fact, congrats to everyone who managed to pull together an entry (and insult Bat Segundo). You are to be commended -- not among any of the entrants did I see one that made no sense whatsoever. How any of you managed to form a cohesive story is beyond me.

Well done! *claps, cheers, applause*

P.S. Word verification is Tpbsgton. The perfect name for a butler wielding a bisexual vacuum cleaner.

dink said...

Congratulations Stephen! Even though I've previously congratulated you in your blog ...there's no such thing as too much YAY.

My entry went out into cyberspace and never made it to the contest--I felt a bit de-snarklinged there for a minute but quickly bounced back, read, enjoyed, and took notes on all the entries, waited anxiously for the winner, and just generally had a fabulous time.

Thanks for it all, Miss Snark and Snarkling contestants!

lucy said...

Way to go Stephen! I'm happy for you.

Not only did your entry get selected by Miss Snark...that was an awesome little acceptance letter you posted up there. Eloquent. Heartfelt. Gracious. Timely.

Bonnie said...

Congratulations, Stephen! And thanks to Miss Snark and the Great Scorer for their efforts. I had a blast with this contest, both the writing and the reading.