Miss Snark's Second Writing Contest

Call for entries, starting now.
Deadline: 12:01AM (EDT) Monday April 3 (ie 22.5 hours from NOW)

EMAIL me up to 500 words that form a coherent narrative. I will post the entries.

There will be scores based on points:

2 points for for using each of these words (points given only once, so using "bunion" twice isn't 4 points) ; 6 bonus points if you use all of them. (possible 18)

will of the wisp

10 points for using any the following phrases in a context that makes good narrative sense. Bonus 10 if you use them all. (possible 60)

drop everything and give me ten...books

your mother wears Army boots

promenading poodles

roar of the greasepaint, smell of the crowd

Bat Segundo

5 points for being a crowd favorite
5 points for being something everyone hates except one person
5 points for being funny

27 points to be assigned by Miss Snark on random ass criteria, known only to her, changeable at will, and completely arbitrary (much like how she reads her slush pile)

Possible: 115 total (if you think the answer is 120 you're wrong but nice try)

Maximum word count: 500



Keziah Hill said...

My brain hurts! Hey Miss Snark, you're a Library Thingian! Cool! So am I.

Amy said...

OK, I'm not a writer (but I like to hang out with them), so I can risk sounding like a nitwit.

Will there be a prize?

Not that winning the approval of the esteemed Miss Snark wouldn't be prize enough, but it'd be nice to have some ranch dressing on the carrot at the end of that stick.

Lady M said...

Done :-) Good Luck to EVERYONE!

Lady M

Anonymous said...

Oh, man, I *love* assignments!!!! This is so cool -- thank you!!!!!


jan said...

Wrote it. Sent it. Loved it. Fun exercise, thanks!

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Well, I done did it late last night. I'm not sure what I wrote was even coherent, but I had fun doing it.

I think I worked all the words and phrases in there. And I didn't mention a goat once.

Anonymous said...

Phew! It's taken me a while but I hope you like it Miss Snark!

M. G. Tarquini said...

Are we allowed to enter more than once?

Miss Snark said...

oh dear dog, take pity on the frazzled Miss Snark. It's 2:52pm and there are already 30+ entries.

If you must enter more than once (and the rules didn't forbid it, so I guess you could...) you at LEAST have to make it VERY funny, and from a different email name (or my database mgmt will implode).

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Oh, I just started at Library Thing. I haven't a clue why I'm doing that. I already use HomeBase to catalogue my personal books.

If you're terminally curious, I'm on there as WarDancingPixie. I've only listed a few books. It's a time-waster.


Steorling said...

Thanks for the prompt, that was a hoot! I got a little carried away and wrote 1100 words so I'll keep it to myself, but thanks for the Sunday afternoon challenge.

Elektra said...

Sha'el, mine was also written very late at night, so worry not: you shan't be alone in incoherence

bonniers said...

Do we get points for the phrases if we change them slightly to fit the context, for example, "His mother" rather than "your mother"?

Salza Sal said...

Very cool - enjoyed it. Hope I didn't screw up on the deadline due to my inability to work out timezones (I'm in the UK).

Stay At Home Writer said...

That was a lot of fun. Can't wait to read what everyone wrote.

Doug Hoffman said...


Mine would have been perfect, had I remembered to include George Clooney.

harridan said...

That was fun to do.

Again, give a bunch of writers the same basic criteria and you never know what's gonna happen. LOL

Phyllis S said...

I think I screwed up 'roar of the greaspaint, smell of the crowd' Damn.

Other than that, thanks for a cool prompt.

M. G. Tarquini said...

I'll bet Miss Snark is counting down the hours now, realization dawning that her inbox is going to explode in the last hours before midnight, praying the blogger servers hold up under the weight of her posting, thanking dog she didn't offer to edit our prose.

I won't enter twice. My heart weeps for her, already. I hope most of us wrote funny stuff.

Eika said...

That was fun. I got in all the words and phrases- gotta love playing with words.

bonniers said...

I mailed mine from my gmail account, and got a bunch of sponsored links for bunion cureS.

Anonymous said...

I usually don't do contests like this, but this was fun and my taxes weren't. Too bad my taxes will still be there to do tomorrow. :-p

pennyoz said...

Oi sent an entry, Oi hope you got it.

Rick said...

UGH, that was fun. I found out late and rushed something in. Sadly, I messed up one of the prompts. Combat boots instead of Army boots, grrrrr.
Oh, well, I hope it's still ok.
Great exercise.

Mary said...

I saw the blog entry at two minutes before the deadline, but did the exercise anyway. Never hurts to see if you can work within specific guidelines. I didn't send it in because that would make me a nitwit by not following directions, lol.
I did the exercise. It makes sense and was a ton of fun. It won't win awards (snort), but I did it.
Thanks Ms. Snark.

Caitlin said...

Bonniers, obviously it's up to Her Royal Snarkiness if we get points when the words and phrases are changed slightly. But she hasn't responded and for what it's worth, I don't think you would. The challenge is using the words and phrases as given and if you think about it, it's a lot harder to use the phrase 'Your mother wears Army boots' than 'His mother wears Army boots'. (I was tempted to change it to 'Yo momma...' but refrained). Having said that, it doesn't really matter. The cool thing about the exercise is that it prompted us to write and put our stuff out there for public feedback. I wrote mine late last night so not sure how I did but I had fun!

Anonymous said...

Ummm...it's will o' the wisp, to be correct. But hey, what a fun lineup.

Jean said...

Rats! You always do this when I'm out of town and not available to see until too late.

Looking forward to reading the entries and comments--just like the Crap-O-Meter.

Maybe another time.

Judy said...

I missed out on this one, but will be more diligent checking in the future. I hope you do this again... once your mailbox gets over the stress of this contest.