Vote CLOSED: best of the best

This is the list of people with perfect word scores. Vote for the one you like best!
Email only. Voting opens now, closes at midnight tonight. IT"S CLOSED NOW



Anonymous said...

where is number #60? i liked that one! and it had all the words in it! .. i think.

Anonymous said...

Stares with red-rimmed eyes at scoring sheet and reveals:

#60 - Drop everything and give me ten books ... authors - ellipse in wrong place.

The path is narrow and fraught with pitfalls, Little Mouse.

Anonymous said...

What about the best of those who didn't have perfect word scores but who were within the word limit?

Anonymous said...

Ah persistence. Thy name is writer.

Anonymous said...

Pooh, my favorites didn't make the cut, and either did I. :(

Guess I'll vote for...#21!

McKoala said...

oh man I inserted that sneaky extra 'the' before smell of the crowd, without realising it... and my fave didn't make the short list either... OK, back to the reading.

Cheryl said...

I don't think this really covers the 'best of the best', especially with the 27-point spread undetermined.

But I voted for 'the best of THESE'.

Best of luck to the contestants! Two of my favorites were on the list, it was a hard choice but I did it.

Anonymous said...

I entered #89 and was positive I used everything. Will the One Great Scorer double check, please? Thank you kindly! :)

Anonymous said...

Never mind about #89, One Great Scorer. I added the word the. Thanks - now go use some Visine.

Anonymous said...

I didn't make the cut either and I thought I had everything in place. *shrugs*

But will I have time to go over these entries? I wish I had a bit more time. AAARRRGGGHHHH

Anonymous said...

Didn't #18 have all the words? Is the perfect score including the arbitrary 27 points?

librisfb said...

My entry DID make the "best of the best" (though I agree, it could really be called "the best of these".) Anyway, I gotta say that my fav is #21 (and, SADLY, it's not mine!!!)

Great job #21!

Anonymous said...

I vote for number 92, though I guss it didnt make the cut

Lisa Cohen said...

Oh so sad! Mine (no.33) isn't listed here. :( I could have sworn I was under 500 words and used all the target words exactly.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Well, I thought #47 was hysterical! A writer with exceptional talent.

Anonymous said...

Please could someone type out Miss Snark's email address?
My computer doesn't like her link.
My fault, not hers, my computer gets like this sometimes.
(I've had hours and hours of fun trying to make the "mail" on my computer talk to my internet service, to no avail.)
I'm perfectly happy to go play the problem some more, but in the meantime, what do I type onto an address line to reach her?

Anonymous said...


WannabeMe said...

I'm teetering between #47 and #52, and I only got less than 3 hours to make a decision!

Miss Snark said...

Miss Lin, you better wind your watch baby, it's 12:32 am right now.

Anonymous said...

Checks #18 again.

bunions - plural

A very narrow path, O Disappointed One.

Anonymous said...

On the west coast, midnight comes later.

Caitlin said...

Well the voting lines are closed now so I missed the chance to vote on my favourites - oh well!

My piece - 86 - is not listed here. I was under the word count and I
did use all the target words. The only target phrase I didn't use was the "roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd". This shouldn't disqualify me since we were told we didn't have to use all the phrases, just that there were extra points for doing so. There were also extra points for being funny or for other random-ass criteria and I was kind of hoping to know how I did on this.

It does seem a bit unfair that people who went over word count get a separate competition but people with perfect word count but didn't use all the words and phrases are completely nixed.

On the other hand, with over 100 entries I guess Miss Snark needed an easy way to create a short list. C'est la vie - life isn't fair.

I've been obsessing about this all week and checking the website almost constantly - must stop! I need to remember that the main thing is the writing exercise, which was fun, and I need to write more.

Anonymous said...

Shuffling through the pages and pages of scores, #33 reveals:

#33 - drop and give me ten. . .Books
roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd

Minus 30 points - 10 points for the bonus, 10 pts for each incorrect phrase.

So sorry.

WagerWitch said...

Thanks for the blast!!!

All of the entries had something special about them.

Every one was worthy of a round of applause!

Congrats to ALL of the participants and may you all walk away from this smiling and laughing at some of the great posts!

Lady M

WannabeMe said...

B-but, but... I'm on Pacific Coast time!


D-did the Great Miss Snark, just, just spoke to ME? And called me MISS Lin???


Dies happy. Unpublished. But happy.

Anonymous said...

What a pity! We in the UK didn't get a chance to vote; it all happened while we were asleep. (It's now 6 am here, I went to bed at 10.)
Anyway. Saves me having to re-read the qualified. My favourites weren't there anyway. Good luck to the rest of you!

Sal said...

It does seem a bit unfair that people who went over word count get a separate competition but people with perfect word count but didn't use all the words and phrases are completely nixed.

Miss Snark's game. Miss Snark's rules. I would definitely be a little less nonchalant if there were a six figure publishing contract involved, but this hey was all in fun.

Thanks for the time and the effort, Miss Snark.

Thanks to all the entrants and the commentators and the voters.

Now, get y'all back to work.

As Miss Snark sez, "Get off your ass. Get busy. Write like it matters. It does."

Those wise words are on a sticky on my monitor.

'course I've been ignoring them to compulsively click on the blog and comments all week. ...

Anonymous said...

Let's give a big round of applause to all the authors who submitted a story. As someone noted, they had at most 23 hours to write a story--the shortest day of the year.

And a big round of applause to Miss Snark, who not only read all the entries but counted the words in any that appeared to go over the limit.

Those of you who are sad that your stories were not included in either one of the final two lists--take heart. Snarklings read your work, and there are fans enough for all.

Personally, I was sorry to see that #9 did not make the cut. It was not a funny story so it must have lost the points handed out for humor. Good story, anyway.

Anonymous said...

I know that votes are closed, however 21 is quite nice, but doesn't it have imperfect contest words?

"Drop everything and give me ten—"


It doesn't have the elipsis...

I like #95 -- donkey's are great.

theinadvertentauthor said...

They'll be a WHINE and cheese party for the disenfranchined in the lobby...door prizes for everyone, so as not to offend.

Anonymous said...

Same for the Berlin snarklings as those in the UK. Rushed to my computer only to howl like a bat segundo when I found the voting was closed. I'd (past perfect, I know) missed forever the opportunity to vote for my DQ’ed favorite—#1. I’m the faithful type and after I lost my heart to “trying to attach one of his own feet to a key chain for good luck.” the contest was over for me.

Thanks to Miss Snark for a good time.

Kitty said...

I'm really late to this.

Oh, well, for what it's worth, my favorites were #8 "snark noir" (not listed) and #12 ("g-query").

lucy said...

Everyone who entered is a winner. We each have something we didn't have before...Miss Snark read our work. How many times is THAT going to happen? As a bonus you may have got some comments. Consider yourself lucky. I know I do!

theinadvertentauthor said...


Anonymous said...

The contest rewards authors who successfully managed to use all the words and phrases correctly. But it was not a requirement, as was the word count being under 500. Miss Snark has indicated her favorites, some of which are not on the "Perfect" list, so perhaps she will award random points to these entries and not reduce the contest to a mathematical scoring system.

LisaS said...

so now let's turn to the identity of the OGS . . .

hmmm, could it be Bat Segundo himself, studying the blasphemies for future reference?

or is it one of Miss Snark's alter egos that comes out after the first pail of gin?

I tip my bucket of gin to you, whoever you are.

Anonymous said...

For me, this was the first time I posted work online on a site with serious authors (instead of just eager fan-fiction readers) and it was all a little terrifying.

And I got some compliments on my story. :) (I was #71)

So, in spite of not making the voting, I am really glad to have had the opportunity, and have had a great time. Thanks, Miss Snark!

Good luck to all the sharp-eyed and accurate finalists!

Jade L Blackwater said...

I only got as far as reading 81 or 82, but I will definitely finish reading the rest in the next day or so. This was a lot of fun, and I just want to say GREAT JOB to all the entrants! I was thoroughly entertained, and enjoyed everyone’s creativity. :)

Anonymous said...

The one I voted for, #55, was the one I liked the best and was surprised to note it was written in second person. Whoulda thunk!

While mine didn't make the final cut (#30), I was pleased to receive a couple of positive comments and to have been able to complete the exercise using all the words and phrases (I think I did) in a little over 400 words, and I was purposely wordy. :o__O

Stephen said...

As we hang suspended between the end of voting and the opening of the magic envelope, I would like to join in all the thanks to Miss Snark for giving us a chance to have such fun.

As others have said - Miss Snark's contest, Miss Snark's rules. I would like to simplify that to this:

Miss Snark Rules

And since I was one of the lucky 19 I will try to get on with rewriting my novel while chewing my nails with anticipation.

elmridge said...

It looks like a good time to say thanks to all those who had nice things to say about my entry (112). A hardy thank you goes to all the entrants for providing hours of enjoyment. Your efforts were not unappreciated. The biggest thanks go to Miss Snark for her time, talent, expertise, and initiative in creating this contest, and more importanly, this blog.
This was fun.

Corn Dog said...

The WHINE and cheese party for the disenfranchised in the lobby was great! Anyone else go? The door prize was a Clue Gun. I love mine except for the fact I was staring down the barrel to see if it was loaded and accidentally shot myself in the forehead.

d said...


I LOVED # 71 --crusty seafaring guys and gourmet cooking! AND most important it was wonderfully funny. That's a winning combination--I'd buy the book.

I don't know from no stinkin' POINTS I leave that stuff up to the great scorer and miss snark.



Anonymous said...

Thanks so much, Dink! :)

(And the really funny coincidence here is that Dink is also the screen name of my friend from CoS Forums, the one who provided critique and commentary on the first draft of my novel. She's from the UK, though. Otherwise, I'd think you were her!)

Miss Audrey said...

Not that anyone will ever see this post, except for maybe the honorable Miss Snark herself... but here goes nothing!

I not only missed the Party, but then I missed the Reception, and I also missed the Whine and Cheese party.

What I did not miss was the excellent humor in Motorboat's reply to this thread... He has a new fan! I followed his link and his blog is one that I will be following. His first entry (That I read) on the Unicorn was very well written, and he has beautiful photographs. I loved the story about the stone bird.

Anonymous said...

Miss Audrey, absolutely no offense to you, but I read Motorboating's blog as well, and I will certainly not visit again. He/she stole a knick-knack from his/her mother's home and said it was okay. But then he/she turned around and angrily accosted and embarrsssed an elderly man for stealing lemons from his/her tree.

I find no wit or humor in that.

Sal said...

The one I voted for, #55, was the one I liked the best and was surprised to note it was written in second person. Whoulda thunk!

Thanks, anonymous #n! That was the first piece I'd ever written in second person. I was inspired by a comment Miss Snark made about Jay McInerney and BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG CITY recently.

I had fun, for which I thank Miss Snark and everyone who joined in the game.