Miss Snark has survived her foray out of the 212.
Normally Miss Snark travels by sedan chair but the 202 is a bit too far even for her devoted footmen. Therefore Miss Snark purchased a ticket and climbed aboard a public conveyance and found herself viewing trees! grass! and something that looked suspiciously like the set for The Wire.
Five hours and one crying child evicted to the checked luggage section later, Miss Snark found herself in Washington DC. Consulting her trusty map, she knew it was not far to her destination so, being a true New Yorker, she decided to hoof it.
Now, I'm not sure what goes on in Washington DC that they've decided they need this but every pedestrian light is accompanied by a timer that shows how many seconds are left before the light changes from WALK to DON'T. Here in New York of course, such things would be a joke. There's exactly as much time left as I need to get across; you wanna argue? Fuggedaboudit! And despite all this technology, there were about six people on the street. The cars! My dear dog, the cars!
BEA is of course strange and wonderful. It's entirely possible to stand next to a Very Well Known Author as you both wait for the barrista to pour the elixir of life and say nothing other than "damn, I wish they'd hurry up".
There's always someone with a toilet; this year was no exception.
The people with the most hustle and energy are almost always the guys in the small press row who've self published something. I admire those guys. I wish they'd leave me alone, but I admire their drive.
The best very very best moment was passing by the big ass Author House booth and seeing it empty empty empty. And hearing their booth staffers talking about the Kansas libel decision. Miss Snark refrained from laughing in their faces...but she was smirking hard by the time she cleared their air space.
Bat Segundo is a madman and should be kept on a leash. Edward Champion is a cutie pie and Miss Snark is glad she met him.
There was a lot of food this year; or maybe I just noticed it. Everytime I turned around someone was rolling out ice cream or hotdogs or choccies. No one was serving gin. Miss Snark is filing a grievance.
Best bags by far were from F+W.
Weirdest swag was a handheld fan on a tongue depressor. Forced to take it, Miss Snark wondered why anyone would think this a clever giveaway in an air conditoned building when everyone's hands are full anyway.
Best visual: the guys from ThrillerFest talking mayhem under the banner "Harlequin Romance".
Second best visual: the girls in swim caps, swim suits, sunglasses and sandals handing out flyers at the door.
Saddest effort to hitch self to DaVinci Code: banner claiming "Jesus drank. Judas repented, and God divorced his bride: Christian non fiction".
Worst Miss Snark moment: the escalator going UP was stalled and behind me, I heard a voice say "oh no, I'll never make it up those stairs". I thought "clearly not a New Yorker; we scoff at stairs". I turned; it was a librarian pushing twins in a stroller. Ohhhhhhh ow ow ow, the hot pincers of shame clamp down on the sneer.
Best DC moment: walking back to the station, turning around, seeing the dome of the Capitol bathed in light. Yowza.
Worst DC moment: getting very very lost, flagging a cab to just GET there; giving the driver the address, and the look as he paused, slowly turned to face me, and pointed to my destination...across the street. Fastest taxi trip ever: $5. Pitying look on driver's face; priceless.
Best NY moment: there are no bad ones. Ever. I love this town, and thank all dogs, BEA is HERE next year.