Miss Snark leases all her clients from Alloy Entertainment.
Miss Snark purchases her clients from estate auctions at Sothebys.
Miss Snark only signs self published writers hawking their novels on subway lines above 59th street...east or west side.
Miss Snark only accepts clients who have queried her with illuminated manuscripts delivered by footmen.
Miss Snark only accepts referrals from the Nobel Committee.
Miss Snark opens only that mail with a return address of Lake Cuomo, Italia.
Miss Snark is so famously distant anyone who actually wants her as an agent is automatically rejected.
Miss Snark has decided to forgo the query process entirely and move directly to selling things she doesn't actually represent--- thus cutting down on the amount of client interaction required.
Miss Snark accepts only those queries for work that excludes the letter e...as must the query itself.
Miss Snark accepts only those queries traded on the Chicago stock exchange--commodities market, sorry -- with pork bellies, chocolate futures, and other such low-risk items.