Why I Love The Evil Editor

Q & A (from The Evil Editor blog)

Aren't you afraid that the query letters you 'fix' are going to mean deception and disappointment for the agents and editors who read them and request manuscripts?

You seem to have confused "requesting manuscripts" with "reading manuscripts." An average timeline, measuring time in sentences (or ETU's, which, for those of you outside the editorial loop, stands for Editorial Time Units), for reading a requested manuscript is as follows:

3 ETU's: Start thinking, What planet was I on, and what was I smoking, when I requested this?

5 ETU's: Toss MS onto recycling mountain in corner, pour self a stiff one, and pop in DVD of Misery to watch an author being tortured.


McKoala said...

Should Mr Clooney be worried?

Spawn of Evil Editor and Miss Snark = Evil Snark. It has a certain ring to it. More so than Miss Editor, so let's hope it's a boy.

May I propose a new competition suggestion? Wipe away your tears Miss Snark, it would only take five minutes of your lovely time 'cos the entries would be short...how about one to guess Miss Snark's first name!

Miss Snark said...

The Evil Editor is happily married. Miss Snark has eyes only for Mr. Clooney.

Miss Snark's first name is Miss of course. Much like Grandmother Snark's first name is Grandmother.

Silly koala bears!

Mrs. Evil said...

Indeed, he is happily married! As the Bride of Evil, I am beginning to be jealous of the amount of attention Miss Snark is paying my dear husband. If I weren't so assured of Miss Snark's devotion to Mr. Clooney, I might even be worried.

Anonymous said...

Married? Really, he actually found a nice girl who will put up with Evil Editor. I bet he's a teddy bear at home.

George C. Looney said...

Let me just assure Mrs. Evil that Miss Snark has no untoward intentions toward your husband. I have asked her not to disclose our relationship because of diplmoacy problems between Hollywood and the East Coast, but since she agreed to consider a query letter from Tori Spellings about her autobiography entitled 'My Life as a Super-Duper Bimbo Star' things have eased up a bit and we can actually be seen chatting on the phone together.
(As you can see I'm even obliged to take a 'pen name' to comment on my beloved's blog.

Eileen said...

I always knew they sold those Misery DVDs in bulk at agent/editor conferences

Cynthia Bronco said...

I'm pretty sure that in "In the Mouth of Madness," a literary agent tries to kill Sam Neil with an axe (but Sam was an insurance investigator, not an author). It's a brief scene, not as drawn out as James Caan's torment.