Dear Divine One (somehow Miss Snark just doesn't quite say it), (Miss Snark like "Oh AweFul One a lot too)
First, I hope his doggieship is doing well and catching many squirrels in the park. (hope springs eternel in the poodle pack; squirrel always is, never to be ketched)
I have two questions now torturing my soul:
The film rights for my novel have been optioned for a year and a half and I know from the screenwriter that he is no longer shopping them. Do I still need to include a note in my query letter about the option agreement - it expires in October? (1)
Second: With all the discussion on your blog about resubmits, I desperately need Miss Snark to translate a rejection letter. (2)
After reading a full, an agent wrote, "I like the idea for this very much but I'm afraid I wasn't as enthusiastic about the execution as I'd need to be . . . She wishes me luck without inviting me to resubmit if I rewrite it.
By the time I received the above rejection, I had extensively rewritten it and now, four months later, have rewritten it yet again. The rejected version I sent her was definitely not ready (isn't hindsight cool?)
Do I resubmit? I like this agent very much - the emails we've exchanged have indicated to me that she would be a good match and that she does represent what I write - good track record too. Is she just too nice to tell me outright not to quit my day job?
Thank you for your wisdom and support. I have taped a "kick me" sign to my back in anticipation of your answer. I love your snarkiness; it makes me laugh every day.
1. Yes you should mention this. It may not come to anything but it's a nice little enticement. I know I always like to see query letters that might allow me to fling myself upon Mr. Clooney at the Oscars someday.
2. No. I can't tell you how much I hate it when people do this. I really do try to restrain myself from cruelty ('lose my address! leave me alone! your poodle wears Army boots!') but when I haven't asked someone to resubmit and they send me the "new and improved version" it frequently IS new and improved...and I still don't want it.
People send me stuff all the time with cover letters that start "well you didn't like One, but I've got Two here and it's much better". Just because I read One does NOT mean I'm predisposed to want to read OneRevised or Two. If I think I do, I'll tell you. Honest.
Do NOT mistake pleasant email chat for interest. Here is how you know she wants to read something. She will say "send me...". ANYTHING else is NOT a request.
There are 6 bazillion agents in New York City. Query others. When you sell this tome for a gazillion dollars she'll be damn sorry and come crawling back and then YOU can say to her "I like you very much but I'm afraid I wasn't as enthusiastic about your taste as I'd need to be".