Dear Miss Snark,
I am a newish snarkling and have never had the pleasure (breakdown of all that is sane and sensible) of submitting to the crap-o-meter. I hear it is on a summer/winter schedule and since summer is quickly approaching I wanted to make a request.
From all your amassed wisdom it seems that the first page is an author's most important tool for snagging an agent. I like my query letter and have no idea about my synopsis, but it is my first page that I lay awake at night fretting over. I would love to see my ambiguous fears spelled out into something more helpful (Crap Crap Crap(or maybe not)). Would you consider convincing the crap-o-meter to eat first pages this summer?
Crap or Not Crap that is the question.
Lord(andTaylor) love a duck, y'all are just in a frenzy for Miss Snark to eviscerate the sweat of your brow. This is the fifth email in as many days pining for C'ometer. Are you guys all nuts or what??
Yes, it's summer. Miss Snark has her summerweight suit and Killer Yapp his straw boater. Of course, we both have sun specs; KY's are festooned with red hearts, Miss Snark's are red cat's eyes.
The crapometer left town as soon as the clocks sprang forward, but the NYC Film Bureau reports the crapometer is currently filming a documentary in a maximum security facility in an undisclosed location. Wrap up or jail break, which ever comes first, will be announced here as it happens.
Meanwhile, Elektra's crapometer picks up the slacker's slack, and I believe there are some other places that do this too. Throw yourself at Elektra and offer bribes.